this letter i wrote to andy and alecia rostad explains everything

oh my. what a question.

alright, so the jist is ten people - 9 dudes and a rad girl - stayed over. they were from three different sets. six of 'em were straight-up bike punx from eau claire wisconsin - they're settin' us up a show in august now - cool! and two were lycra wearin' die-hards from boston - one, the one i SORTA knew - was from washington state. he'd gone to school where emily royer went to school, she's my ex - and through a strange twist of mutual acquaintance he ended up at the united pantry ready to stay over. well, the other two groups had found each other at the zoo or something, and after robert (one from washington) went out and about for a minute (first i gave him lunch) he came back having met them - dude, can they stay over too? - well, of course! and then we let the mayhem dogs out. spent 85 bucks right away and called everyone i could think of. so it's 9:30 and i've called about 40 people and we've got two cases of gluck honeybock - a case of pbr - a jug of carlo - and a bottle of r&r with three bottles of coke - so we're set. potential caskets played. i played the ninja turtles theme song on acoustic - a rousing rendition - when i reconstruct the event in my head it's fun, anyway - and their set's over and i'm wasted and joe and i had decided that FOR SURE we needed to go swim in roosevelt pool buck naked. so we take a small crew (how many was it? i don't know.) and head for the coffer dam. we attempt the walk. it's a hazard. i fell in about eight times. i was wearing over-sized crocs and couldn't make physics work with me. slippin all over hell. there was a bit of water running over the thing - we're having a lot of rain lately. and fuck. well, there's this kid with us. his face is a blur. i think he had blond hair. and i'm sure he was trying to help. but i kept telling him i could do it. this is where i fucked with karma. so we get in the pool by some miracle. and we're naked. i don't remember swimming. i do remember lights. the cops came. i didn't really hide out of fear. i just hid. like, "lights? lay here. okay." then, "no lights? okay, leave. okay." it was just auto pilot that saved me. i took the long ass trek home and remember thinking, "fuck this is gonna be a long walk." and anyhow...i remember talking with someone about how my cell phone wouldn't work. then nothing. the next day. the aftermath. recovery. shit. i woke up around 9 am. the bike kids from wizz were taking a picture of me. i was on my back on the floor in my room, buck naked. no blankets. knees in the air. like i'm ready to receive the missionary. they said something about being "hung like a retard," which - aside from p.c. problems - i don't understand. it's gotta mean either a) real big, or b) real small. i'm not sure. and i didn't wig out at the photo op, i just scratched a swollen brain and rolled out. found some jammy pants, you know? and the night before i'd enticed the wizz-kids with fuckin' freight train dreams. they're on the road for adventure - not JUST biking - and so...well, i had to work at 11:30. but - karma first - my digital camera, ipod, and cellphone had all come with me to the pool. the phone WAS ruined (i let it dry for two days with the battery out, now it's good again - ALL my contacts would've died with it! fuck!) the ipod's dead, and i can't find a single shred of my camera anywhere...is it in the river? it's a canon powershot - if you see it - call me. my phone works now. i had a gash on my left big-to that was gnarly as all hell. i thought i'd broken the thing. so, it was an expensive night for me. i should've listened to that kid, dammit! fuck. well, the phone works, my toe's not broken - so i'm only like $250 down. i did manage to evade arrest while naked in a big blue waterslide. and then...well, i took all the wizz kids down to the tracks with their bikes, and the racks on their bikes weighing out to about 60 lbs and six of 'em hopped freight for their first time...a magical time in the magic city. i went to work, robert (from washington) came to visit me - he ended up going with us all to bismarck for a wild show that night...so sunday's a different story...