i think that the off-screen voice would sound a lot like HAL from Kubrick's classic, "2001: A Space Odyssey." well, HAL before berzerker-brain took over.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

i post a lot of videos, whoah.

song: The Fingertips - Picture Of My Own

(worth watching for the song, which is cut off - so, umm - maybe just watch it and then go find the song?)

hell. last night was awesome. gonna do that again.

if this isn't nice, i don't know what is

A Letter & A Response

Rick Watson - loud-mouthed crackpot wizard of my dreams - sent this to his co-conspirators, of which I am one:

Just received from Brenna Daugherty, NDHC contact for ND Reads, ND
Reads Aloud, NDAP laureates, and Letters Literature--
A Portuguese folk saying: If shit had value, the poor would not be
allowed to have asses. How is that for a diverse, place rooted,
earthy rhetorical saying? RW

I believe he may be poking fun at MSU departmental policy. I responded with this bit - and thought it classy enough to share:

It may not be as place rooted as you were led to believe, Rick. They're working on legislation right now; it's working title: "The Butt Bill." This piece of legislation, while leaving in tact one's "Right To Bear Arms" would eliminate one's "Right To Bare Asses." No longer will the population of America's middle to lower-classes be afforded the opportunity to drop trow. This ultimately conservative reading of the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. act is said by opponents to, "be the craziest notion I've heard come from The Hill in...well...MINUTES!" While, proponents - like the Big Ass himself - President Bush, have hailed this move as, "a monumental occasion for a modest America!"

Despite its flaws, however, "The Butt Bill" is making some folks' day, Cynthia Schwimmer - of Rockport, Iowa - had this to say, "They can pass it if they want. I'll be alright. But it's gonna make collectin' taxes that much harder on them - boy, where are they gonna stick it now?!?"

OK, Despite Obvious Flaws

(godtube?!? i suppose...)

Both Amanda Crawford & Miss Asher Noel did a great job of acting, the videography is on point (i really like the side-ways shot in the beginning - reminiscent of "Night of the Living Dead"), and it was real fun to watch Aaron Beck pretend his way into Karkov-dreams...

But, I still take issue with this piece. First of all, it's not very clear what is being said..."Don't make 'bad' choices," seems to be the leading contender. With that said, they knowingly bolster its message with one of the most ambiguous lines in literary history...

"And that made all the difference..."

For better or for worse. Right? OK, I'll make my own silly situations up - for fun. What we'll find is that there's nowhere TO GO with this...

Maybe they go to that party, in a tiny town, and pull over on the way back - at this point the alcohol hasn't killed them, just given them reason to pull over and vomit - now they find a lottery ticket - flew off the dashboard of an 18-wheeler as the big rig's driver fumbled for his Superamerica big gulp while rockin' hard to The Boss and E Street. Headed towards Nebraska.

So, now - let's say that the lottery ticket wins our heroes (hardly lookin' like heroes with bits of tonight's dinner on their t-shirts) a half-million dollars (with an option to take it all now, with accrued taxes - or take some thousands a year for 20 years). We'll make one last assumption: our heroine's mother has been fighting cancer (pick a type) for 6 months. Without money - she's gonna die.

Well, then. Eenie-meenie-miney-mo, 1+1=2, Bing! Bang! Boom!

Good thing they partied.

Yeah. Right.

OK, so the argument's clearer on drunk driving. And I'm no drunk driving proponent. That's not what my problem is. The characters clearly could have gone to the party and a) not had drinks, or b) called a cab. I know plenty of kids who do both every day. Hell. I don't drink and drive (even when I HAVE a car!)

If that's what this was - a bit about not drinking and driving I'd be more than OK with it. But it's about - get this - hearing God's warnings through your friend (an obvious prophet/vessel of the Lord) while drinking coffee at the Beaver Dam. "What if?" we're asked...well, "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IF?" I ask.

So what. Shit happens. Make good choices. You can't win 'em all.

I'd like the stats on car accidents, in town, on your way to church. Oh shit, they could be distorted. Maybe we could scare people into staying inside - whoah baby - FOREVER. Don't leave your homes. You'll probably die.

Maybe I missed the point, or it doesn't have a point - I think I'm only a little concerned that it may be attacking a lifestyle. A lifestyle that I may lead from time to time. A lifestyle that helps me and mine with this world - in a very similar fashion - to what their God does for them.

In conclusion, however - I would have to concede - that they did a damn fine job with the video - at least as great of a job as I did when I drew Cthulu and posted him up around campus, poking fun at the Christians. Shit - we're all the same. They poke fun, so can we - misunderstandings and caricatures are what make the world go round. The grease for the fan-blades, and the fan-blades for the flames.

Ha! Well, good work - and onward - video-soldiers. God Tube, to you all.

combating the diseases of affluence

i came across this term today while looking into my health. on days after a good night of drinking, smoking, and genuine gluttonous excess i will - if time allows - reflect on my choices. "that was fun, but i'm so stupid..." is generally what my reflections sound like. today i had the time because i called in sick to school.

it's a wednesday. i only have one class and i don't have to work. it's 10:30 and the day stretches out before me like a wonderland of time. no stressors. oh, beauty.

so i started looking around the internet. i really do - and i think like most people i know - want to be healthy. want to make healthy choices. for some reason we live more for now than for the future. this could just be our ages. we're young. hip. we don't feel all the chocolate shakes just yet.

but we do feel the hangover.

last week at nick holwegner's (crooked gospel drummer for those of you reading...) birthday party i met leisa and brady. they're real cool. friends of alecia and andy rostad and have a great dog. love the outdoors. kind of - well, ok - they're hippies. or wannabe hippies. can real ones even exist anymore?

well, turns out, leisa works at a cool place that throws away some booze sometimes. and i just happened to be there when this was going down. and i just happened to have had some in me and jumped on that train real quick. ok. don't mind if i do. thanks leisa. it's gonna be a great night.

and it was. i talked with jake for a long time. spent time with the poet jeff skarski. he, "didn't know there were people in minot really worth knowing..." well, that's not verbatim. mostly, he was drunk and happy that he'd met cool people. hell, me too.

i'm happy i meet so many damn cool people.

anyway, back to my story. so i drank. learned about skarski's world. he's got a german penpal. the translating book was on his table. he also has this thing about me touching his computer's wooden cabinet before i touch the computer. to ground me. get all the schocks out of my body.

whoah.

and at jake's apartment, on the landing, there's this 5-gallon bucket filled with energy-drinks. seriously. and we walk into the building past it, and i ask about it. what the hell's that all about? jake says it's been there for 3 or 4 days.

we take to the balcony and i keep drinking. we talk about crutches. he tells me about his grandpa. a preacher. jake would make a good one, too. and that's not an insult. i mean it in the most complimentary way a cynical-atheist-cum-mystic can.

his grandpa, when arguing for religion (not christ, but religion - i'm guessing?) would encounter the "crutch" argument. he would tell his friend, "a crippled man with a crutch is gonna get a lot farther than a crippled man without..."

after he told me that story, i asked him why he wasn't gonna have a drink with me then...

ha!

it was good times. i babbled. i miss that kid.

becky came over and i was hitting the road. and i called barta. and i said to him, "come pick up all these damn energy drinks i found!"

and he did. and we sort-of raced home. i was on the shogun. and i had barta beat - in a race he didn't know we were having - and then my shoelace got caught up on my pedal. and fuck if that weren't scary enough. i was at 20mph at the very least. the fixie'll lock up all around your feet that way, you know? and so my shoelace snapped, and the other part of the lace hadn't and it dangled.

so i don't want to stop. this is a race, after all. and i keep pedaling, but i'm sure to keep that foot with the dangling half-a-lace away from the pedal. i'm riding with one left leg extended and pedaling to beat hell with the other when barta passes me shouting, "this is for PINK SLIPS, bitch!"

well. fuck.

we drank some more. we ate crap food. i fell asleep around 3. i woke up around nine. i'm writing around 11. and i'm finishing my story close to now...

so, for some reason i started looking into colon-cleanses.

hell. i'm stopped up. my guts generally feel like settling cement, anyhow. and that adds to the lethargy.

i'm a way off-kilter being. so there's mind, body, & spirit. well, my spirits go...or the mind can't concentrate...and my body get stuck with the bill. "here, pick up the tab on this pizza-beer-cigarette party we had last night. i know, i know...we should've thought about maybe taking you into consideration, but it was a LONG day, don't you get it???"

ugh.

i ordered some whole psyllium husks. it's like a condensed powder that gels up and expands in the ultimate fiber-feature-event! so, like a glacier, it slides through intestines wiping out villages of disease-ridden fecal matter.

cool, huh? and it was only four-bucks!

PART II: WHY THIS IS NAMED COMBATTING THE DISEASES OF AFFLUENCE

I read this:

"Examples of diseases of affluence include: type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, cerebrovascular disease, peripheral vascular disease, obesity, certain forms of cancer, asthma, alcoholism, depression[1], as well as a major range of other psychiatric illnesses.

These diseases are categorized as non-communicable diseases, whereas the diseases of poverty tend to be largely communicable either through infection, inadequate safety or environmental health regulations, or poor hygiene.

Diseases of affluence are predicted to become more prevalent as starvation and diseases of poverty decline, and as longevity increases. From a sociological perspective, there is a failure among policy makers to recognize that development could be experienced as self-defeating if it means exchanging one set of diseases for another."

on wikipedia.

I'd never heard the term before, although I HAD spotted it's symptoms. I wrote a song once for Fist Full of Knuckles. Called it, "White Knuckles." In the song I just say a bunch of shit about privilege. My having it, and all. Well, one of the lines is, "All my friends have drinking problems, but at least they can afford to."

So I named this blog "combating the diseases of affluence," because it sounded like something we should try. It sounds good.

Fuck, how to do that? By sitting around typing blogs. I hate my arrogance as much as you do.

Well, that's that. Have fun with the new term. I'm going to learn more.

Knowledge isn't really power but that's what afternoon school-programs say. I'll gain that while the rest (the BIGGER fishes of privilege) gain real power - through banking.

Oh, today may be terrible.

Stomp On This!

I'd never heard of this Stompin Tom Connor before...but it's pretty funny. I'm not really a fan of funny-songs. I like Adam Sandler, I guess, but I think that's just 'cause I listened to him when I was young so it's maybe nostalgia? And maybe it's that he reminds me a little of my cousin Johnny...both of them remind me of learning guitar (Sandler and Cousin.)

So, no - I don't like Tenacious D. I don't like Flight of the Concords. There's that one singing comedian (does a song about D&D? what's his name? Steve or something?) I think they blow. Bow out, go home, you suck.

That's what I say to them...

Anyhow, it's a bit of a treat to find something a little funny to listen to and see.

Enjoy!

Weird Old Punx Vid

It's real tongue-in-cheek...worth the five minutes - as a history lesson, at least...