My Poem and Its Story

okay, so i'm sitting in brit lit class, right? and the teacher is singing songs and telling us about william blake. then he's telling us about robert burns. maybe he was telling us about blake first. anyway. so he's singing "auld lang syne." and telling stories about the young generation letting minot slip silently away - because he tried to sing "auld lang syne" at the bar on new years and no one knew it or something. i thought, well - hell - maybe i'll start teaching the youth. beat back the decay!

my mind started wandering while i sat there. i started looking over my "to do" list. not wanting to be overwhelmed, i start daydreaming. of other things i need to do - things that are more "me" and less "pressing." i thought about adding some things to my "Get Better."

my Get Better is a list i've got up on the fridge. well, not a list as much as a tally-keeper. a scoreboard for personal achievement that i started this month. more because a new month had rolled over than that this was new years' month. i made a little calendar of january and put a "+" a "-" and an "x" for each day. sort of like a totem. then, there's a key on the side. the plus is cigarettes, the minus is drinking, and the 'x' is eating meat. i circle the symbol if i don't do it. if i "win" for the day. pretty simple concept. i can use it to evaluate my habits. i wrote "Get Better" across the top because that's what my friend Alex wrote on his drums so that while he was playing 'em his past self would be encouraging progress...

i've smoked eight days, drank 14, and ate meat maybe 12? these numbers are off 'cause i'm in the living room and lazy. anyway - you can see what a louse i am at all of this. back to class. well, i'm sitting there thinking, "if i can get through the rest of the month alright, i should add another symbol to fight against. maybe jogging - or writing everyday!" the teacher kept talking about poems and william blake and william blake's poems. blake's poems sometimes talk about god and beasts and spirits. i wrote this poem while i was listening to all of this. just 'cause i thought writing everyday could mean poems.

For Trials In the Grocery Line

today's a day like any day
my ups and downs you'll find
have more than once this morning
shone bright with light from the divine

you see, i'm at least part angel -
more than one-third, surely
but it seems i'm having trouble
making class - 'cause it's so early

and i wouldn't doubt if later
i couldn't get much done -
there's a lot of evil out there
and i've got to keep it on the run

i'll hunt down all the vampires
the monsters? kill 'em good, i will!
so if you'll just gimme a break
i'll be right back to watch the till

but for now i just need patrons
who understand and give me slack
'cause i got a lot of issues
and feathers sprouting from my back

i showed the poem to jake thomas, master of insight, who wrote at the bottom:

"For religion to have any hope, Angels must organize along the lines of the Mafia."
- Kurt Vonnegut