ennui go

hold the phone!

2011-12-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

so, haven't blogged for a hot (andrew dice clay HOTT!) minute...

here's what i have to say:

i'm setting the sound for incoming text messages on my new phone; now, when you've got something quick to say to me, i'll hear craig finn say, "stay positive!"

why? good question! let me tell you...

i really, really dislike the hold steady. but who can't get behind those two words, "stay positive"? i mean, really? who?

i do need to stay positive and one surefire way to do that is to remind myself that there are things i hate in the world. craig finn's 5am-kermit-thee-frog laced tone is - for sure - one of those things...

but more important than being reminded that i hate things is being reminded that i can and - so what? they can exist and i can do my thing which is likely hated by someone. live and let live and thrive.

that man's voice is good for that last part in particular because i have several close friends - friends i'm not afraid to say i love - who really, really like that band and, what - should i dislike them? no way!

"hey, anthony - i love you - but only like 99%! it's just that, well - you're into craig finn and i can't get behind that..."

opinions are the spice of this shit...and in this display of technological tolerance i will be able to remind myself that i am to let things go; craig finn certainly doesn't care what i'm about!

On With Today?

2010-02-25T09:54:00.000-08:00

Awright, awready!

Today's been pretty uneventful. I have gotten out of bed. I have not put any clothes on. I have read the latest Razorcake. I have not done much else.

I have skipped class. For the seventh time this week. And it's only Thursday. Oh my, what a life to lead. When will I ever get things done? Things are worst when I can't get myself to do things that I love to do. It's as if a switch is flipped and now I'm just a sponge. Taking in information and entertainment. Dreaming. Not altogether bad. Rest is a requirement we have. But I've signed on for getting more than this done and instead I'm always tired. Always.

Last night after we got done doing a demo over at The Gourmet Chef, Sue dropped me off at home. I walked Teddy and called my mom back. She won tickets to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra and Van Morrison - what a bill! Weird. But awesome. Then, I checked the mail. Matty Cellphone sent me a Johnny Quota button and some other damn near useless shit. I've got Mr. SnakeBoots Esq.'s Wolverine shirt now. That's nice. Frame it for the kids! And four Epitaph buttons. Plus, as a bonus - hey, did The Cellphone even know what he was up to? - there's an Off With Their Heads sticker on the outside of the box. They just signed to Epitaph, Tricky Cellphone!

But - the Demo! Yeah, that's right. A demo. I was the sidekick and we did a cooking show. For twelve women who wanted to know how to roll sushi. It went weird. It went well. All hail my mad rolling skills!

And now I've blogged again, if I haven't done anything else. Check out this video - some weird German ska band. Pretty funny. Ska, that is.

For Al Scorch; Wherein the Devil May Find Him Well

2010-02-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

A Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's Storehouse of Human Knowledge
Why is there no ketchup on a properly made hot dog?
August 30, 1991

Dear Cecil:

I was sitting at the Montreal Pool Room eating my all-dressed hot dog and suddenly the question hit me: why is there no ketchup in an all-dressed? Is ketchup not as respectable a condiment as relish or mustard? Is there a conspiracy? Does Dirty Harry's remark about ketchup in a hot dog have anything to do with it? I would be so thankful if you could shine a light on this obscure bit of knowledge for a passionate and perplexed user of ketchup.

— Paul Macneil, Dorval, Quebec

Cecil replies:

Paul, I know you don't mean to act like an alfalfa-chewing barbarian, but this is like asking why Leonardo didn't paint the Mona Lisa on black velvet. Ketchup is destructive of all that is right and just about a properly assembled hot dog (and we're talking about a pure beef hot dog, not one of those things you could serve with dressing on Thanksgiving).

Ketchup smothers the flavor of the hot dog because ketchup makers add sugar to their products. That takes the edge off the highly acidic tomatoes, but it takes the edge off everything else, too. Which is exactly why a lot of parents like it, according to Mel Plotsky, sales manager for the David Berg hot dog company in Chicago. (Chicago is one of the hot dog's holy cities.) Put ketchup on it and a kid will swallow anything--and from there it's a straight shot to Velveeta cheese, Franco-American spaghetti, and Deborah Norville.

For that matter, you want to watch the mustard, too. Plotsky says your mainstream brands like French's put in too much turmeric and whatnot. What you want is some unpretentious mustard like Plochman's that enhances rather than competes with the flavor of the beef. You should also steam or grill rather than boil your hot dogs--water leaches away the flavor and softens the wiener till it becomes non-tooth-resistant mush.

But--getting back to the original question--you say you like the taste of tomatoes. Fine, then eat tomatoes, as God meant them to be eaten--fresh sliced and piled on top of the hot dog. The recommended ingredients of a hot dog with everything, in order of application, are mustard, relish, chopped onion, sliced tomato, kosher pickle spear, optional peppers, and celery salt. (Many think you have to get kraut in there too, but Cecil wants a hot dog, not Oktoberfest.)

People get pretty emotional over the ketchup question. Mel Plotsky opened our discussion by describing the condiment as a "catchall of garbage." Over at crosstown rival Vienna Sausage, they refer to ketchup as the "K-word." If you go into an authentic hot dog joint and ask for ketchup on your hot dog, the counterman will pause and look you in the eye. He may or may not say, "Ketchup?" with a tone of disbelief. But you may be certain what he's thinking: "Behold this creature that walks like a man. It wants ketchup on its hot dog."

But hey, if you want ketchup, by all means get it.

— Cecil Adams

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

2009-12-15T07:41:00.001-08:00

so today i'm responsible for writing a ten-page paper - IN THE NEXT TWO HOURS! - wha?!!? splutter?!?!? gasp!

wait, haven't i known about this all sememster?

college is a sport; are you with me?

Lazy Thursday

2009-09-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Thought I might take the eight minutes I've got until 9 o'clock to write a blog. It's been quite a while.

I'd wanted to write one yesterday about the character's you can meet around here. Minot's got 'em - just like anywhere. At B&D I was buying some root beer to mix with rum and a set of batteries for my recently acquired game boy pocket. She was working the till. Bookish. Black hair. Behind her sat a book about Texas No Limit Hold 'Em. I said, "Is that your poker book?" She's all of 19 would be my guess. She said, "Yeah." "You play a lot?" "Just played my first tournament last Spring at the Vegas." So what place did she take at the tourney on the hill? "39th." "Out of what," I asked. "1,436." Or some number. It was past 14 hundred. Her handle? "Poker Princess, that's what they call me..."

At Cenex. The one by Ebeneezer's. They've changed the name now, though. To what? Enerbase. Anyway, went in to hesitate about buying some cigarettes and my uncle, John, said, "The best way to quit smoking is to stop buying the damn things." Then he went on to tell me about a guy who stops in every day of the week to buy 3 cigarettes off his coworker. The old man pays $5 for those 3 smokes. Doesn't want more. Doesn't want less. It's a small enough place in a small enough community to make some things happen if you wanted them to. John says, "Hell, with the $25 he spends a week on those 15 cigarettes, he could just buy a pack and leave 'em behind the counter - ask for 3 and be done with it." I tell John I'll be waiting out front to sell the man 4 for $5. John reminds me that he doesn't want 4.

And, it's been so long since I've been back to this blog that I had a comment to moderate. It was from Anthony J. I miss that guy.

Here's something I did today:

Erick Lyle/Iggy Scam & Bucky Sinister Reading Their Writing

2009-03-31T16:24:00.000-07:00

"The Epicenter of Crime: The Hunt's Donuts Story" read by Erick Lyle @ Needles & Pens from Andrew Scott on Vimeo.

fuckin' great writer. for sure.

same with bucky...

"The Berlin Wall" by Bucky Sinister @ Needles & Pens in San Francisco from Andrew Scott on Vimeo.

they're reading at a place called Needles & Pens in San Francisco. I've been gettin' all up in San Fran shit lately. you bet your sweet ass (i'm a turtle).

i ripped these videos off lovingly from a website called: fecalface.com

here's the real link to the right page:

http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1179&Itemid=63

alright, hope you dig!

word. it's been awhile.

2009-03-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

if i feel a song coming on

2009-02-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

it's interesting how lyrics work. some people can craft a feeling or emotion out of some fucking words. some people just straight up tell a story. like, "boy named sue" or something.

jazmine has a good mix song: it's not quite a story, but starts "sitting here watching you fall apart in my arms / and i don't know what to say to make it better..." it goes on to detail some of the pain and sadness that her friend is going through. very nicely done. it's called "cry away yesterday," if you're wondering.

like josh's "bucket" - not quite a story, not quite pure abstract feelings.

i think my songs fall into the abstract a lot. it'd be good to write a story song.

i suppose haiku's aren't always self-contained. they conjure up a feeling: not necessarily a concrete example of anything.

max wrote a song that's a little like this, i'm not sure what the lyrics are exactly, but it's like, "we can climb a roof and ride a bike..." that sort of shit. it's not as ridiculous as some of the shit he's written. or he and charlie have written for that matter: "ooh baby, she's got critters!"

hell, i've done this too..."rub it raw" - for real? what a fuckin' joke.

even when i've got a song that's pretty serious, i can screw it up right in the middle "9 to 5 punks" is a damn fine example. it's all going good. real good. then, "raise a cup for the nine to five punks / we don't get healthcare but it's full time work / so if we die out then we die together / let's have some good times first..." okay, so it's a bit cheese and that might make the cut - except - EXCEPT - it's done over a bit of a break down. so the audience can clearly hear it: it's designed that way.

bullshit.

so, there are probably a million - but i think i've got it narrowed down to three types of songs - 1) the concrete story (first or third person it doesn't matter) designed to bring out emotion 2) the abstract, lines fitting but needing to be deciphered - you can sometimes hear these songs, understand the feeling right away, but not really know the nuances of it yet, or 3) fun crap. this can take care of stupid stephen lynch style joke songs (hate that guy. i hate tenacious d, too - if you're wondering) or bizarro shit about pirate ships

i think there are lots of examples of blurring these things. i just really like it when bands can do the first two well (and there are multiple examples of mixing the third with one of the first two and having it work, but the third cannot stand alone and be cool with me very often, the "critters" example from above is alright. i think it's saved by the self awareness of its chorus, "whaddya want from me?" almost like baiting you, "c'mon, you don't like these lyrics? what the fuck do you want from me?" so it works...it's a combo!)

the third can exist even with posturing, trent is usually really good at writing but there are a couple songs that i've even asked him about...what the fuck does "we're all near dead sheep wearing corroded crowns" mean? it sounds better than the songs max writes about pirate ships, but you know...

actually, trent is probably my favorite lyricist in town.

don't tell him though.

so, for lyricists there aren't all that many folks around here (that i'm readily familiar with) there's me, jazmine, josh, alex, watson, charlie, max, micah, joe, and eli? not sure about the last one. my guess is eli does write lyrics. i'm just not sure how those duties are split in the crooked gospel.

micah is really fucking good, too.

okay, so i've got a few favorites. jazmine's lyrics have really grown on me, despite the fact that i don't listen to ANYTHING remotely resembling her stuff.

i think i'm just into darker things. maybe that's why my favorite song of hers is either "cry away yesterday" or "settling" she's using her voice for affirmation. like reaching out from the darkness with song.

i can get behind that.

trent sometimes seems like he's promoting a style or posture more than writing a song, like he thinks, "what can i say here that will allow me to mention whiskey?" but that's kinda like what i do. maybe that's why i like his shit.

josh writes really well.

and - hey - joe andrus has "seeds and stems" or whatever he's calling it. fuckin' great words. if that song were played right before "settling" - that'd make a good little story.

fuck. i'm trying to think of this song micah has. it's like his latest tune, or something. i don't really know its story.

i called joe first, thought he'd know that song of micah's. then tried micah's house. then called charlie because he'd videotaped the simple infant men (an outfit that plays the song i'm talking about) and put it all on youtube or something - so, thought he'd know the song. finally got through to eli - and then micah - via eli's cell phone.

just got off the phone with him. the song is called "cajun cliffhanger" - he doesn't know what that title means. the lyrics are "the centrifuge is taking us all for a ride" - hmm...or something. i didn't write it down and our conversation went further and i maybe have forgotten.

he's gonna read this. he'll be the only one!

he asked me to mail this to him. yep, gave me his address and everything.

so, now this isn't as...hmm - without audience? his request - by my letting on that i was doing this - has shifted this from, "maybe someone will read this" to "yep, micah's gonna read this."

micah, i didn't go back and put the line, "micah kicks ass in here." i'd already written it.

i haven't changed anything but the tone here at the end. since, you know, now i've got an audience.

so, for micah, and for you - dear reader - let me say, this is just a bit of discussion on song lyrics that are local. i don't think i was very harsh. i don't know that i was very insightful either - that said - if you think i WAS a meany, i'm sure i didn't mean it. surely.

i just really like lyrics.

My Poem and Its Story

2009-01-21T12:03:00.001-08:00

okay, so i'm sitting in brit lit class, right? and the teacher is singing songs and telling us about william blake. then he's telling us about robert burns. maybe he was telling us about blake first. anyway. so he's singing "auld lang syne." and telling stories about the young generation letting minot slip silently away - because he tried to sing "auld lang syne" at the bar on new years and no one knew it or something. i thought, well - hell - maybe i'll start teaching the youth. beat back the decay!

my mind started wandering while i sat there. i started looking over my "to do" list. not wanting to be overwhelmed, i start daydreaming. of other things i need to do - things that are more "me" and less "pressing." i thought about adding some things to my "Get Better."

my Get Better is a list i've got up on the fridge. well, not a list as much as a tally-keeper. a scoreboard for personal achievement that i started this month. more because a new month had rolled over than that this was new years' month. i made a little calendar of january and put a "+" a "-" and an "x" for each day. sort of like a totem. then, there's a key on the side. the plus is cigarettes, the minus is drinking, and the 'x' is eating meat. i circle the symbol if i don't do it. if i "win" for the day. pretty simple concept. i can use it to evaluate my habits. i wrote "Get Better" across the top because that's what my friend Alex wrote on his drums so that while he was playing 'em his past self would be encouraging progress...

i've smoked eight days, drank 14, and ate meat maybe 12? these numbers are off 'cause i'm in the living room and lazy. anyway - you can see what a louse i am at all of this. back to class. well, i'm sitting there thinking, "if i can get through the rest of the month alright, i should add another symbol to fight against. maybe jogging - or writing everyday!" the teacher kept talking about poems and william blake and william blake's poems. blake's poems sometimes talk about god and beasts and spirits. i wrote this poem while i was listening to all of this. just 'cause i thought writing everyday could mean poems.

For Trials In the Grocery Line

today's a day like any day
my ups and downs you'll find
have more than once this morning
shone bright with light from the divine

you see, i'm at least part angel -
more than one-third, surely
but it seems i'm having trouble
making class - 'cause it's so early

and i wouldn't doubt if later
i couldn't get much done -
there's a lot of evil out there
and i've got to keep it on the run

i'll hunt down all the vampires
the monsters? kill 'em good, i will!
so if you'll just gimme a break
i'll be right back to watch the till

but for now i just need patrons
who understand and give me slack
'cause i got a lot of issues
and feathers sprouting from my back

i showed the poem to jake thomas, master of insight, who wrote at the bottom:

"For religion to have any hope, Angels must organize along the lines of the Mafia."
- Kurt Vonnegut

what lunch can tell you about a person

2009-01-05T14:26:00.001-08:00

well, i've sacrificed ideals again. had a cheddar-dog for lunch. i'm drunk on a monday afternoon. the dog hasn't been walked and i've got homework i haven't done.

it wasn't a new years' resolution that brought me back around to ideals. it was the break. christmas break lasts a few weeks. i thought with the extra time i could think a bit more. and it fell over a "first-of-the-month." firsts are always good for new beginnings. instead, i've drank a bit more. i have a plan. we'll see if it ever gets implemented.

i don't want to eat flesh. i didn't for awhile. then things went awry. i deviated from the diet. i left the path. why?

hmm.

last year around this time - or was it two years ago? - i think it may have been two, actually, anyway - i had to leave minot for awhile. things were too rough for me. then i left and things were a little less rough in the abstract and a little more rough in the concrete. it was hard for me to face all of the talk - the rhetoric - when i didn't have a dime in my pocket and food was being given away and the food was meaty.

it was tough to deal with all of the questions. i was my biggest critic - and i've still got questions - how does a leftist reconcile his advocation for sentient beings with a workers' struggle that is at least partly composed of dealing with the meats industry? in the event that what you hold to be our only humane future - an absence of meat and animal byproducts - is to pass - where and what will have happened? nothing i've read maps out the future; it only criticizes our present. hypocrisies abound. i dunno.

i used to live by a sort of "platinum rule" - do unto others as you would wish they would do unto you. error on the side of good. and i think i may be gravitating back towards that. sure, the questions aren't answered for me, but does that mean i should participate apathetically in the slaughter of beings who, however speculatively, may share my emotions and dreams?

well, the cheddar dog. jaz bought 'em - i'd said i wanted to be vegan for a month. she still brought the shit around, trying to help. i think she'd thought i meant just no dairy (it gives me, and about 30-50 million other americans the badness) - but i still don't get the purchase. maybe she thought it was minimal cheese? it is one of my favorites. anyway, i just eat it. and a month is nothing. i should be able to do this. i used to do this shit for a long time. in fact, when i asked josh plogue about it all and he'd said, "i've been vegan three times." i didn't know what he was talking about. really? he'd fallen off?

at the time i was new to it and a would-be martyr for it. how could he have changed?

well, now i think i get it. some convictions can't hold and while you're busy dealing with the realistic the idealistic takes backseat. my real problems are family and friends and insecure-chips-on-the-shoulder - what can i do?

i'm also trying not to drink (strike against me right now) and smoke (if i could break this without buying a pack, i would).

but none of it's working much. i'm tired and lazy and things are hard. not harder than other people have it - far from - so fuck you and your guilt-giving. i understand where i'm at. it's not a hard life, but i don't deal well regardless of this evidence of leisure.

what to do? i cannot justify my diet. i cannot justify my vices. in fact, i know better. i know that for the fight a clear-headedness is important. i'm an avid fan of proactive living. i'm an activist of sorts.

but goddamn does it feel nice to just lay around and drink and smoke and eat some pizza.

how to reverse the cycle?

long day

2008-12-18T16:11:00.000-08:00

tonight there should be a lot of people excited to get down and dirty with ideas, scissors, glue, paper, and a trip to the photocopier.

this might make me happy.

i'm hungover and tired. that might be why i'm sad. i guess jake braaten reads this, hi jake.

i listened to living on the edge, then came across this song.

i'm not quite a blubbering mess right now. i just feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and as though i lack focus or control.

here's this video. it's sad.

fun with links!

2008-11-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

aaa bbb ccc

so, it turns out i think i like this song...

2008-11-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

"Low" by Flo Rida is infectious. Like a disease. Less debilitating? Depends on who you ask. Even my lil' bro and his bad taste (he and I both affectionately called what he listened to through high-school, "C-rap") asked me what the hell I was doing listening to this song.

I listen to it 3 times in a sitting. I can't get it out of my head. Obsession? I woke up this morning and clicked the video, still in queue, on youtube. I understand its flaws...Flo's flows aren't even endearingly stupid (see Biz Markie) - they're just bad (see MC Hammer). Even T-Pain, the reason anyone cares, is off a bit: does the female protagonist have a costume change half-way through the chorus? First we see her in Apple Bottom jeans - ten seconds later she's wearing sweatpants. These are minor problems, though.

The biggest challenge I thought I was facing when I first tuned into this song was: how did this song make it?!?!

Maybe I should back up.

I was just minding my own business as I put "yahoo" into the address bar for some late night email checking. There's a front page before you click "mail." Sometimes, I read the stories. This time there was a story about the top selling singles of all time in the United States. The article starts talking about Elton John, and why he can't be on the list - though he has the number one selling single with his 1997 remake of his own "Candle In the Wind." Here's the list, just read it as though it starts at #2.

1. A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley

2. Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

3. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

4. Apologize - Timbaland

5. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams

6. Hey Jude - The Beatles*

7. Hound Dog/Don't Be Cruel - Elvis Presley

8. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

9. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye

10. Low - Flo Rida

11. Macarena - Los del Rio

12. Ridin' - Chamillionaire

13. We Are The World - USA For Africa**

14. Whoomp There It Is - Tag Team

You can check the whole article here but that's pretty much the whole of it. I'd never heard of this Flo Rida character. What an ingenious name, right? Ha! So, I looked it up. And the first thing I thought was the first and last thing I thought the last time (3? 4? some years ago) I heard durrrrrty south-styled club bangers, "This is shit." And by that I mean, "I get it, it's like the other shitty shit - what makes it better?"

So, why did this song dominate so handily all of these stand-by classics by making the list in such a short time? It's not in the number one slot, but how long did it take "Hey Jude" to make it to where it's at? This song's been around for 4 months or something. Why is it sharing breathing room with Elvis Presley?

I have no idea. I can only guess that a lot of songs aren't issued as 'singles' anymore. I can guess that the cutting room saved the pieces in a guarded manner a la Fort Knox - thereby deterring the customary illegal downloading that plagues the industry and encouraging downloads via Itunes. What I can't do is give a real factual reason. I can just keep guessing.

My biggest guess is that it's catchy as hell. I've done my research lately (watched a ton of T-Pain videos) and it's catchier than most of those (and most of those are oozing with auto-tuned treachery). It's just a dance hit. And I just love it.

i have bad diarrhea

2008-10-28T02:53:00.001-07:00

maths rule our lives

2008-10-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

follow this link and you'll find that "The Greatest Shortcoming of the Human Race is our Inability to Understand the Exponential Function."

as in, population growth and resource depletion. really good video. does anyone read this blog? probably not.

just click here.

i'm thinking about starting a math club.

i love math.

must not sleep, must warn others

2008-10-23T07:44:00.001-07:00

Artist: Aesop Rock
Album: Float
Song: Commencement at the Obedience Academy
Typed by: yamomsucks@aol.com

Verse One:

The harvest appeared less plentiful than last season
I imagine sloppy seed handling avoke the stroke of tardy planting
And the crops we'd have harnessed in mid November
It only brushed the blossom bracket then soon sacrificed
Lives to icicle jackets when the frosted
I sunk to find the walk beneath the mosses
Where the planted tunnel pass after the rains have run their courses
But alas the portraits of these frosted corpses tortured in the grass
Off of distorts or pour the one tall glass and nauseous
And I'm asking you, why's this spy supply hiding in strangers
When they know atop the food chains I could spot biters for acres
Now be gracious, these minstools turn a bully's psycho civil
By dissolving the candy coated image down to the pixels
Yelp bringing the self-stop freedom brigade investors
And the studies connecting one hit wonders with dust collectors
Puts it down, and it's down beneath your sappy sing alongs
So stick it further down where the daunted decide which ring I'm on
Nova yell just took positions and advance march
Parts playing a scheme parking the rain in my canteen now I'm like
Point I guess I could spare a splash for a couple of heads
Counterpoint during my famine I never got broke your bread
Well equation of intrigue, yes, yes, let me fed sit for a bit
These 'tensils need soaking before I hand out token
"Shut the fuck up" drama like Kabuki with a heart of dirt
Skull fucked cross bones hence my birth it hurts

Chorus:

Must not sleep must warn others
Trust blocks creep where the dust storm hovers
I milk my habitat for almost everything I want
Sometimes I take it all and still can't feel this pitfall in my gut
And I'm like must not sleep must warn others
Trust blocks creep where the dust storm hovers
I'm trying to walk on top of sunshine
But it's ridiculous at times that's why I tore 'em with this warning

Verse Two:

Wanting the glory of our advance fire ants to water beetles
Free masons adjacent debasing on pins and needles
Pupil turned pedagogue benedicts into my dream
Beam in a billion bottle rockets off the golden mezzanine
I pluck the pedals off a classic blood rose one at a time
Gripping the stem and right invite the thorns to dig up in my lifeline
A metaphor for nighttime, ante up the slight cost of exhaustion
To salute the moon of our paradise lost and you're a spectator
Stringent, inch by sacred inch shoveling colon in my earthworm soul
Borough up through the dirt with bloody digit lick my knuckles clean
Noting the corporate clusters holding hands round the abode of the dam
And what's your poison? Starlight and amaze her with a nicotine chaser
Sip it clean savor the taste then sit and dream later
The ollage pay their back upon they hinges twenty miles
Across the glassy eye window of one less to passes by
Now I'm six foot four with a sick flow walk up just to recline
With no free time, the alarm storms at nine
My daytime's on some, yes sir, okay sir, right away sir
Sir do you mind if I breathe sir oh you do? Well excuse me sir fuck you
I breathe slow, I'm running with these fantastic amalgams
Painting casket bound careers to pierce gunning with classic albums
Security's the javelin, catch it; labor
Clocked in at seven six and haven't clocked out ever since

Chorus:

Must not sleep must warn others
Trust blocks creep where the dust storm hovers
I milk my habitat for almost everything I want
Sometimes I take it all and still can't feel this pitfall in my gut
And I'm like must not sleep must warn others
Trust blocks creep where the dust storm hovers
I'm trying to walk on top of sunshine
But it's ridiculous at times that's why I tore 'em with this warning

FULL EPISODE (where Batman & Penguin debate a la Obama/Mccain!)

2008-10-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

PART 1: "HIZZONER THE PENGUIN"

PART 2: "DIZZONER THE PENGUIN"

CONSERVATIVE JOKE AHEAD

2008-10-19T23:44:00.001-07:00

i think that the most popular name for newborn republican baby boys in the next year will be "joe." just a guess.

my tough titties: real thoughts on competition

2008-10-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

the battle of the bands!

it was last night, and we lost. i really knew that was gonna happen. this is okay. the nervous part of me that didn't want to sign up was worried about the other acts, the people, being judged, and my final reaction to the judgment. the people were alright, in fact, mostly pretty cool. i got to hang with jake flaaten. and chris brown. and, of course, chris darling. the more time you can spend with these types and eli, the better. the other acts won it fair and square on their turf, you know?

i thought about it like this: if a haughty bird said to the fish, "you will never fly." and the fish were to be upset, he would be a dummy.

it's apples and oranges.

i had made a deliberate decision to do something i was very uncomfortable with. in the end i thought, "if we can win one heart..." then that would be okay.

while we played, while the judges tinkered with notepads, jotting things like - i dunno - "need better equipment, guy sings like he's shitting" and the people saw a band that probably wasn't what they wanted...i listened. no joke, the heart we won was mine.

i'd been so worried since, well - probably since charlie got all flaked out and the band started to suffer. one bassist after another. tour was a dirty fiasco. we were on these stages with the greatest bands. and fuckin' a - we sucked.

bad equipment. fuckin' TERRIBLE equipment. we didn't deserve to play with these bands i thought.

well, it was strange - and for the record i'm not second-guessing this statement, or any of these statements, although i'm usually the type to do so - the lights were on us and ten thousand eyes and the strangers we call, "fellow musicians," with their strange pop-sensibilities - and i forgot about 'em all. i could hear boots' great drumming and chris' driving bass and our vocals mixing and my vocals - which i never hear - and dammit - we were a great punk band. we win!

we would've deserved to play those shows on tour if we played like we did last night.

i feel good about losing!

well done commercial

2008-10-14T01:10:00.000-07:00

maybe this works. and maybe you're gonna LEARN!

2008-10-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yakko's World - video powered by Metacafe

i don't even remember how to post shit!

2008-10-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

Pangea House Rules

2008-10-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

“uuuuuuuuhghhhghhghg fook ufuguguguuweeee whiskey.”

this is the greatest line i've read all night. anthony jastrzembski wrote it, or - more aptly - recorded a drunk man for posterity.

anyways, i was very upset earlier and now i'm alright i think.

i was upset before i went to the Pangea Collective meeting. but, once there, i saw the greatest logo-design ever. (if you guessed "magician juggling the letters, P A N G E A H O U S E," then you win! your prize? i pop you some gourmet kettle corn! good work, you!)

things weren't working out too well earlier. hell, they never are. the figgity fucked up part about life, in my humble opinion, is that it's not worth living. i'm not arguing, necessarily, that it's time we kill ourselves with a threshing-machine either - so, DON'T GO THINKING THAT!

it's just hard for me to argue my way out of my own wet-paper bag logic. i stick around this planet for curiosity's sake mostly. a lot of times things are really fun and exciting to watch.

tonight i watched 7 people do some talking. but man, was it fun talking...we discussed all sorts of wiley events and things. fashion shows and photo walks and food not bombs and ghostbusters. sound like your kind of thing? well, keep an eye on us then! and hell, come help out. come set it up. and all that.

so, what we're trying to do is provide a "music venue plus!" this is the trend in all of the latest technology, after all. when you buy a phone, don't you want it to calculate gratuity, send funny pictures, and play you a sonata? DON'T YOU?!?! in the past these things were done by gaging the wait person's face, the united states postal horses, and your local church orchestra - right? well, not anymore! now you can get a phone that does all of those things for about twenty-five cents as you walk into the grocery store.

THAT'S US;WE'RE TRYING TO BE MODERN!

so, now you'll get a music venue AND tutors, painters, video games, open-hours, a lending library, and all kinds of neat things. you'll get a say - and you can even get involved!

cool, right? yeah, that's what i thought.

so, bad things. good things. the whole fuckin world on a plate. chow down.

p.s. if anyone is reading this: www.myspace.com/pangeahouse is where some shit is. there's gonna be a fancy website soon, but chris brown is a lazy ass.

and another thing; LISTEN TO LEATHERFACE!

maybe not fucked

2008-10-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine standing up frustrated, lashing out with all of your being, swinging your fists, exhaling spittle, hot tears rolling down your face...

Can you imagine this taking place in a dome tent? The type made of synthetic fibers with a cheesecloth material for your comfort in buggy spots. The type of tent called a "pup."

In the type I'm used to there's not much for standing room and I'm not even very tall. If I were to rise swinging with all of my temperament set to furious anguish or delirious irritability, I'm sure I would bring the whole thing down around me.

That's how I feel right now. Seething. Frothing. Looking for fight, hoping for passion, and locked in. Passively observing the world as my ideals and ideas and hopes and dreams hail a taxi and head off into the dizzyness of night time.

reflection over the "why?" axis

2008-09-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

as jawbreaker plays, "i love you so much it's killing us both."

i'm so clever. shit.

turns out joshua gagne has a blog...but he gets PAID! ha! greenoliveyuk.com...check it!

i want to talk about politics; don't get scared. the informality of this blog allows for me to try and sum things up, write things down, and generally have a good time while writing. please bear with me. i'm not sure i can even get my mind behind this stuff...deep thoughts are hard.

it's in the air right now. november is snapping that razorwire of decision - ELECTION - in our collective faces daily.

i'll come back to that.

my brother, jesse, is disinterested in society. the larger part of it anyway. he's a pretty affable, average joe that way. he goes about his business, sometimes curses the politicians, works, and raises his son, deyan.

just another guy feeling the pressure without seeking its source. blame him? no way. he's not a victim, per se, as he has the choice to deal with situations which threaten his liberty in most cases, i would guess. apathy is just where he resides. where millions of americans and hundreds of my friends reside. hell, where i reside usually.

i like to drink. i like getting numb. it's true. i note injustice, from time to time, and do nothing. no course of action is ever prescribed by this guy - both thumbs are pointing at myself, even as i type.

but here's what happened. jesse got his ass too near the flame. the emperor's clothes became transparent. he discovered a rip in our social fabric. and he was pissed.

this was only about two hours ago. he called me, flustered, "What's the word - not 'segregation' - but the word...for...you know, when they discriminate or harass like a section of town...not segregating race or color or anything..."

it was unique. it was interesting. different and exciting. i've been pissed before. everyone around me knows i'm discontent. my brother's not really like that. when he is upset, it's of a more immediate variety - it's anger of the "he said, she said..." variety. and even now, he still hadn't followed his concern to its conclusion...

"I just thought you'd know the term for it..." he began to explain that two weeks ago a friend of his had been stopped by the police. it was at a DWI/DUI check point. near the ground round, if i'm getting this right. she'd had two drinks, and blew a .10 - which, without research (i'm depending on inference based on my brother's upset...), i'm assuming is just the legal limit. okay, fine.

his upset is of the, "where will it end" type. he imagined nightmarish gestapo visions for me. like a gun-nut or wounded animal. but, he has a point, right? okay then.

so, i told him - that's what we've elected officials for. they determine what will be done in our public sectors, including our streets. as representatives of the majority these officials decide that things like stopping every vehicle leaving a certain establishment, street, or end of town for that matter is appropriate. nevermind that they might be making a sober individual late.

jazmine made the point that, as a mother, she'd rather be inconvenienced for a brief period of time and rest well than have her child killed by a drunk-driver.

you can take these scenarios anywhere you want. jesse believes his "rights" are being infringed upon, but what i think is that - without money, influence, or prospects - he's got no "rights." this is a fiction. they can arrest whoever they want whenever they want. "legal" or not. the silly brother was saying, "the founding fathers didn't set it up like this..."

well, brother dear, yes they did. ask black folk. ask women folk. ask native american folk. hell, ask your white-ass self, if you didn't own land...

wrapping that scenario up, i'm proud of him. i'm happy he's starting to care. to think. to see. we're totally fucked - unless...

he does what he's threatening to do. expose this situation. find allies. fight the fight, if it's worth fighting. it IS blatant police-statism, i understand that, but i also detest drunk drivers. i'm not sure where i personally sit on the issue...that's not what this is necessarily about, anyway.

this is about the farce. that daily bullshit. politics and governments. and the...ELECTION.

now, we've got two scenarios sitting before us. that is, we have two, IF you believe there's a difference between the parties...obama/biden - the hope that springs minimally, temporarily. will he fulfill any of these promises...do they ever? mccain/palin - palin's cartoonish ascent to the vice presidential nomination is most probably where my current batch of ultra-cynicism has come from...need i say more?

these two scenarios, the onset of political hysteria that has been sweeping the nation because of them, and numerous conversations about the nature of government and its control with friends and loved ones has got me to thinking. i've begun reading more.

to get back to it. i don't know if i'll vote this year. i've voted during the last five years. local and national elections. but, should i vote? if i shouldn't, why shouldn't i?

hmm...the "why?"

a link on voting, if you've made it this far...

http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/reclus/dontvote.html

buffalo sally

2008-09-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

when we left the bungalow with the metal awning. corrugated, like they sometimes are. hope, max, and i headed towards the back. to a dusty dimly lit corner of the hospital. we laughed with one another, joking about the climb.
when you're around here you'd notice that there's not a whole lot to do or that there's limitless possibilities, depends on how you shape that. so we were gonna climb to the roof. the bungalow was more like a shack. particle board holding it together in a makeshift southern-style. it had a big porch and a banging screen door.
as we passed, our porch on the left, i looked up through the trees. on top of the metal stood a mighty buffalo. snorting and pacing.
"how the hell did a buffalo get up there?" i asked hope.
"i don't know," she said.
max didn't pay it any attention. he was the leader of this adventure.
as we moved, i couldn't help but think of that beast pacing our rooftop.
max grabbed this rope of a wire hanging down in the corner and started his swinging climb. followed by hope and i. we made the first level easy. there was a real slant to it - we went up where we could. it all slanted toward another level. not too easy, not too hard, it was the next bit that proved difficult. the rooftop over another smallish apartment or room was as similar as it could be to a circus tent. max had already scrambled off, as high adventurers do, towards the goal. whatever that goal was. hope and i readied ourselves for this last part.
i flung my right leg over the top, but thought twice when i saw the give. it would be like climbing onto an air ballon or a parachute. too slack. and the climb so far had been hard on me anyway. i didn't want to go out doing something stupid. the boots i was wearing were clunking and i didn't feel safe. so i told hope, "hey, i think i'm going back down." "i'm going too," she said.
we walked back through the empty alley and took the side door into the bungalow. max met us going in, "it wasn't much too look at up there anyway..." he'd said after we explained ourselves.
we were inside where teddy and two others were enjoying conversations. i explained why i didn't climb, "what if i'd fallen - even 8 feet - and landed on an upturned umbrella?"
it was then that i saw people in our drive staring up, presumably at the buffalo, that i remembered the buffalo and began nagging our friends who'd stayed home from the climb to come out and see this. one reluctantly accepted my offer, her blond hair and bath robe trailing us. teddy bounded out.
we got to where the lookers had been. there must've been three or four of them. they left right away. the buffalo hadn't taken well to being photographed and bothered, i suppose. he reared up and back. took a run at the edge of the rooftop. this i saw through the trees. he jumped. he soared past the trees and kept it up. a hundred feet or more. i didn't think he could survive the jump. i thought it would crush him to dust. it didn't. he landed as majestically as he'd jumped. the ripple of his fur and muscle as his forepaws hit the dirt was divinity. then he turned.
facing us, he squared off. a snort escaped his face. dust traveled the air around him. head down he began to charge.
there was much screaming. i ran as hard as i could and it felt like someone kept moving our porch backwards. i glanced over for a moment and saw that teddy was herding our blond friend with nips back towards the porch. as she pushed him away and ran in. they were safe. the buffalo was still coming.
i stopped and walked a moment. i thought this would keep him back and he did slow down. perhaps i'd confused him although the look in his eyes was no confused look. he meant to kill me. i ran again, towards the porch, towards anything. a green two-door sat in our lot. i ran towards it. fumbled at the handle. the buffalo was closer. i dived in.
and i woke up.

who no's

2008-09-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

yo, might write some soon...

this letter i wrote to andy and alecia rostad explains everything

2008-06-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

oh my. what a question.

alright, so the jist is ten people - 9 dudes and a rad girl - stayed over. they were from three different sets. six of 'em were straight-up bike punx from eau claire wisconsin - they're settin' us up a show in august now - cool! and two were lycra wearin' die-hards from boston - one, the one i SORTA knew - was from washington state. he'd gone to school where emily royer went to school, she's my ex - and through a strange twist of mutual acquaintance he ended up at the united pantry ready to stay over. well, the other two groups had found each other at the zoo or something, and after robert (one from washington) went out and about for a minute (first i gave him lunch) he came back having met them - dude, can they stay over too? - well, of course! and then we let the mayhem dogs out. spent 85 bucks right away and called everyone i could think of. so it's 9:30 and i've called about 40 people and we've got two cases of gluck honeybock - a case of pbr - a jug of carlo - and a bottle of r&r with three bottles of coke - so we're set. potential caskets played. i played the ninja turtles theme song on acoustic - a rousing rendition - when i reconstruct the event in my head it's fun, anyway - and their set's over and i'm wasted and joe and i had decided that FOR SURE we needed to go swim in roosevelt pool buck naked. so we take a small crew (how many was it? i don't know.) and head for the coffer dam. we attempt the walk. it's a hazard. i fell in about eight times. i was wearing over-sized crocs and couldn't make physics work with me. slippin all over hell. there was a bit of water running over the thing - we're having a lot of rain lately. and fuck. well, there's this kid with us. his face is a blur. i think he had blond hair. and i'm sure he was trying to help. but i kept telling him i could do it. this is where i fucked with karma. so we get in the pool by some miracle. and we're naked. i don't remember swimming. i do remember lights. the cops came. i didn't really hide out of fear. i just hid. like, "lights? lay here. okay." then, "no lights? okay, leave. okay." it was just auto pilot that saved me. i took the long ass trek home and remember thinking, "fuck this is gonna be a long walk." and anyhow...i remember talking with someone about how my cell phone wouldn't work. then nothing. the next day. the aftermath. recovery. shit. i woke up around 9 am. the bike kids from wizz were taking a picture of me. i was on my back on the floor in my room, buck naked. no blankets. knees in the air. like i'm ready to receive the missionary. they said something about being "hung like a retard," which - aside from p.c. problems - i don't understand. it's gotta mean either a) real big, or b) real small. i'm not sure. and i didn't wig out at the photo op, i just scratched a swollen brain and rolled out. found some jammy pants, you know? and the night before i'd enticed the wizz-kids with fuckin' freight train dreams. they're on the road for adventure - not JUST biking - and so...well, i had to work at 11:30. but - karma first - my digital camera, ipod, and cellphone had all come with me to the pool. the phone WAS ruined (i let it dry for two days with the battery out, now it's good again - ALL my contacts would've died with it! fuck!) the ipod's dead, and i can't find a single shred of my camera anywhere...is it in the river? it's a canon powershot - if you see it - call me. my phone works now. i had a gash on my left big-to that was gnarly as all hell. i thought i'd broken the thing. so, it was an expensive night for me. i should've listened to that kid, dammit! fuck. well, the phone works, my toe's not broken - so i'm only like $250 down. i did manage to evade arrest while naked in a big blue waterslide. and then...well, i took all the wizz kids down to the tracks with their bikes, and the racks on their bikes weighing out to about 60 lbs and six of 'em hopped freight for their first time...a magical time in the magic city. i went to work, robert (from washington) came to visit me - he ended up going with us all to bismarck for a wild show that night...so sunday's a different story...

hells yeah! STOP THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY!

2008-06-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

so here are the tracks that are coming out next month on Tummy Rock Records - tizight!

i just don't know how to make them not all make noise at once...fuckin' A!

a little butt-rockin' intro followed by "Kaboom!"

"Rub It Raw"

"Mid-Fuckin' West"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

"9-5 Punks"

"Squier Strat Starter Pack"

endless inspiration

2008-05-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Wonder Festival 2007 Cosplay
by AkihabaraNews

i was in awe of every moment.

i want to write a play. i want spectacle!

2008-04-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

i think that the off-screen voice would sound a lot like HAL from Kubrick's classic, "2001: A Space Odyssey." well, HAL before berzerker-brain took over.

2008-04-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

i post a lot of videos, whoah.

2008-04-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

song: The Fingertips - Picture Of My Own

(worth watching for the song, which is cut off - so, umm - maybe just watch it and then go find the song?)

hell. last night was awesome. gonna do that again.

if this isn't nice, i don't know what is

2008-04-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

A Letter & A Response

2008-04-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Rick Watson - loud-mouthed crackpot wizard of my dreams - sent this to his co-conspirators, of which I am one:

Just received from Brenna Daugherty, NDHC contact for ND Reads, ND
Reads Aloud, NDAP laureates, and Letters Literature--
A Portuguese folk saying: If shit had value, the poor would not be
allowed to have asses. How is that for a diverse, place rooted,
earthy rhetorical saying? RW

I believe he may be poking fun at MSU departmental policy. I responded with this bit - and thought it classy enough to share:

It may not be as place rooted as you were led to believe, Rick. They're working on legislation right now; it's working title: "The Butt Bill." This piece of legislation, while leaving in tact one's "Right To Bear Arms" would eliminate one's "Right To Bare Asses." No longer will the population of America's middle to lower-classes be afforded the opportunity to drop trow. This ultimately conservative reading of the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. act is said by opponents to, "be the craziest notion I've heard come from The Hill in...well...MINUTES!" While, proponents - like the Big Ass himself - President Bush, have hailed this move as, "a monumental occasion for a modest America!"

Despite its flaws, however, "The Butt Bill" is making some folks' day, Cynthia Schwimmer - of Rockport, Iowa - had this to say, "They can pass it if they want. I'll be alright. But it's gonna make collectin' taxes that much harder on them - boy, where are they gonna stick it now?!?"

OK, Despite Obvious Flaws

2008-04-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

(godtube?!? i suppose...)

Both Amanda Crawford & Miss Asher Noel did a great job of acting, the videography is on point (i really like the side-ways shot in the beginning - reminiscent of "Night of the Living Dead"), and it was real fun to watch Aaron Beck pretend his way into Karkov-dreams...

But, I still take issue with this piece. First of all, it's not very clear what is being said..."Don't make 'bad' choices," seems to be the leading contender. With that said, they knowingly bolster its message with one of the most ambiguous lines in literary history...

"And that made all the difference..."

For better or for worse. Right? OK, I'll make my own silly situations up - for fun. What we'll find is that there's nowhere TO GO with this...

Maybe they go to that party, in a tiny town, and pull over on the way back - at this point the alcohol hasn't killed them, just given them reason to pull over and vomit - now they find a lottery ticket - flew off the dashboard of an 18-wheeler as the big rig's driver fumbled for his Superamerica big gulp while rockin' hard to The Boss and E Street. Headed towards Nebraska.

So, now - let's say that the lottery ticket wins our heroes (hardly lookin' like heroes with bits of tonight's dinner on their t-shirts) a half-million dollars (with an option to take it all now, with accrued taxes - or take some thousands a year for 20 years). We'll make one last assumption: our heroine's mother has been fighting cancer (pick a type) for 6 months. Without money - she's gonna die.

Well, then. Eenie-meenie-miney-mo, 1+1=2, Bing! Bang! Boom!

Good thing they partied.

Yeah. Right.

OK, so the argument's clearer on drunk driving. And I'm no drunk driving proponent. That's not what my problem is. The characters clearly could have gone to the party and a) not had drinks, or b) called a cab. I know plenty of kids who do both every day. Hell. I don't drink and drive (even when I HAVE a car!)

If that's what this was - a bit about not drinking and driving I'd be more than OK with it. But it's about - get this - hearing God's warnings through your friend (an obvious prophet/vessel of the Lord) while drinking coffee at the Beaver Dam. "What if?" we're asked...well, "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IF?" I ask.

So what. Shit happens. Make good choices. You can't win 'em all.

I'd like the stats on car accidents, in town, on your way to church. Oh shit, they could be distorted. Maybe we could scare people into staying inside - whoah baby - FOREVER. Don't leave your homes. You'll probably die.

Maybe I missed the point, or it doesn't have a point - I think I'm only a little concerned that it may be attacking a lifestyle. A lifestyle that I may lead from time to time. A lifestyle that helps me and mine with this world - in a very similar fashion - to what their God does for them.

In conclusion, however - I would have to concede - that they did a damn fine job with the video - at least as great of a job as I did when I drew Cthulu and posted him up around campus, poking fun at the Christians. Shit - we're all the same. They poke fun, so can we - misunderstandings and caricatures are what make the world go round. The grease for the fan-blades, and the fan-blades for the flames.

Ha! Well, good work - and onward - video-soldiers. God Tube, to you all.

combating the diseases of affluence

2008-04-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

i came across this term today while looking into my health. on days after a good night of drinking, smoking, and genuine gluttonous excess i will - if time allows - reflect on my choices. "that was fun, but i'm so stupid..." is generally what my reflections sound like. today i had the time because i called in sick to school.

it's a wednesday. i only have one class and i don't have to work. it's 10:30 and the day stretches out before me like a wonderland of time. no stressors. oh, beauty.

so i started looking around the internet. i really do - and i think like most people i know - want to be healthy. want to make healthy choices. for some reason we live more for now than for the future. this could just be our ages. we're young. hip. we don't feel all the chocolate shakes just yet.

but we do feel the hangover.

last week at nick holwegner's (crooked gospel drummer for those of you reading...) birthday party i met leisa and brady. they're real cool. friends of alecia and andy rostad and have a great dog. love the outdoors. kind of - well, ok - they're hippies. or wannabe hippies. can real ones even exist anymore?

well, turns out, leisa works at a cool place that throws away some booze sometimes. and i just happened to be there when this was going down. and i just happened to have had some in me and jumped on that train real quick. ok. don't mind if i do. thanks leisa. it's gonna be a great night.

and it was. i talked with jake for a long time. spent time with the poet jeff skarski. he, "didn't know there were people in minot really worth knowing..." well, that's not verbatim. mostly, he was drunk and happy that he'd met cool people. hell, me too.

i'm happy i meet so many damn cool people.

anyway, back to my story. so i drank. learned about skarski's world. he's got a german penpal. the translating book was on his table. he also has this thing about me touching his computer's wooden cabinet before i touch the computer. to ground me. get all the schocks out of my body.

whoah.

and at jake's apartment, on the landing, there's this 5-gallon bucket filled with energy-drinks. seriously. and we walk into the building past it, and i ask about it. what the hell's that all about? jake says it's been there for 3 or 4 days.

we take to the balcony and i keep drinking. we talk about crutches. he tells me about his grandpa. a preacher. jake would make a good one, too. and that's not an insult. i mean it in the most complimentary way a cynical-atheist-cum-mystic can.

his grandpa, when arguing for religion (not christ, but religion - i'm guessing?) would encounter the "crutch" argument. he would tell his friend, "a crippled man with a crutch is gonna get a lot farther than a crippled man without..."

after he told me that story, i asked him why he wasn't gonna have a drink with me then...

ha!

it was good times. i babbled. i miss that kid.

becky came over and i was hitting the road. and i called barta. and i said to him, "come pick up all these damn energy drinks i found!"

and he did. and we sort-of raced home. i was on the shogun. and i had barta beat - in a race he didn't know we were having - and then my shoelace got caught up on my pedal. and fuck if that weren't scary enough. i was at 20mph at the very least. the fixie'll lock up all around your feet that way, you know? and so my shoelace snapped, and the other part of the lace hadn't and it dangled.

so i don't want to stop. this is a race, after all. and i keep pedaling, but i'm sure to keep that foot with the dangling half-a-lace away from the pedal. i'm riding with one left leg extended and pedaling to beat hell with the other when barta passes me shouting, "this is for PINK SLIPS, bitch!"

well. fuck.

we drank some more. we ate crap food. i fell asleep around 3. i woke up around nine. i'm writing around 11. and i'm finishing my story close to now...

so, for some reason i started looking into colon-cleanses.

hell. i'm stopped up. my guts generally feel like settling cement, anyhow. and that adds to the lethargy.

i'm a way off-kilter being. so there's mind, body, & spirit. well, my spirits go...or the mind can't concentrate...and my body get stuck with the bill. "here, pick up the tab on this pizza-beer-cigarette party we had last night. i know, i know...we should've thought about maybe taking you into consideration, but it was a LONG day, don't you get it???"

ugh.

i ordered some whole psyllium husks. it's like a condensed powder that gels up and expands in the ultimate fiber-feature-event! so, like a glacier, it slides through intestines wiping out villages of disease-ridden fecal matter.

cool, huh? and it was only four-bucks!

PART II: WHY THIS IS NAMED COMBATTING THE DISEASES OF AFFLUENCE

I read this:

"Examples of diseases of affluence include: type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, cerebrovascular disease, peripheral vascular disease, obesity, certain forms of cancer, asthma, alcoholism, depression[1], as well as a major range of other psychiatric illnesses.

These diseases are categorized as non-communicable diseases, whereas the diseases of poverty tend to be largely communicable either through infection, inadequate safety or environmental health regulations, or poor hygiene.

Diseases of affluence are predicted to become more prevalent as starvation and diseases of poverty decline, and as longevity increases. From a sociological perspective, there is a failure among policy makers to recognize that development could be experienced as self-defeating if it means exchanging one set of diseases for another."

on wikipedia.

I'd never heard the term before, although I HAD spotted it's symptoms. I wrote a song once for Fist Full of Knuckles. Called it, "White Knuckles." In the song I just say a bunch of shit about privilege. My having it, and all. Well, one of the lines is, "All my friends have drinking problems, but at least they can afford to."

So I named this blog "combating the diseases of affluence," because it sounded like something we should try. It sounds good.

Fuck, how to do that? By sitting around typing blogs. I hate my arrogance as much as you do.

Well, that's that. Have fun with the new term. I'm going to learn more.

Knowledge isn't really power but that's what afternoon school-programs say. I'll gain that while the rest (the BIGGER fishes of privilege) gain real power - through banking.

Oh, today may be terrible.

Stomp On This!

2008-04-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

I'd never heard of this Stompin Tom Connor before...but it's pretty funny. I'm not really a fan of funny-songs. I like Adam Sandler, I guess, but I think that's just 'cause I listened to him when I was young so it's maybe nostalgia? And maybe it's that he reminds me a little of my cousin Johnny...both of them remind me of learning guitar (Sandler and Cousin.)

So, no - I don't like Tenacious D. I don't like Flight of the Concords. There's that one singing comedian (does a song about D&D? what's his name? Steve or something?) I think they blow. Bow out, go home, you suck.

That's what I say to them...

Anyhow, it's a bit of a treat to find something a little funny to listen to and see.

Enjoy!

Weird Old Punx Vid

2008-04-01T17:45:00.000-07:00

It's real tongue-in-cheek...worth the five minutes - as a history lesson, at least...

PURPOSE? NO - PURPOSES!

2008-03-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've done this. I really did have some good times when I was blogging daily - but it didn't stick. I don't know what it is...I get really interested and excited about things and that lasts about five minutes. Everyday is a new and exciting adventure. A new obsession. Right now it's the band I'm in. Next week it might be synchronized swimming. Last week I think it was comic books. My interests change so often. It's a fact that I'm flighty, to say the least.

Well, son of a bitch. What am I supposed to do about this? I was talking with a friend the other day about this widespread problem I'm having about widespread interests and the sprawl - even glut - that come with it. I can't keep up with myself...

I think that's alright. If I can accomplish half of it I'll be remembered fondly by half-wits and kooks, anyhow. A leader in the field of nonsense.

And that's what we were talking about. How to fix this. How to focus. If I could gain clarity, mission, a purpose - a SINGULAR purpose then I could be great, maybe. Maybe not - but I'd feel more USEFUL? perhaps? Or that I was trying harder. I was in service to a greater good. Following my heart. Asking, "May I have your attention, please?"

Blah. Blah. Blah.

The rollercoaster of thoughts, ideas, and wild-schemes isn't ALL bad, however. I think two things can be said:

1) It IS important to try new things. Shake it up.

2) It IS possible to have a determined mind. It IS possible to fall in love fully. To be driven.

So, what logically falls in line when thinking all of this? What follows one and two? What's next?

Trying a thousand things makes shit interesting. Like mix-tapes and variety shows. I love that. I love taking anything but the direct route across town. Longer? Maybe. More things to see? Definitely.

So, what if in the process of loving a million things...I fall in love with one. And not just a stumble. A headlong dive-on-in - that would be alright.

Maybe I have a secret talent and it's called "water aerobics."

That would be O.K.

In the meantime though - and I mean this more than ever - I'll enjoy everything. Suck the marrow out of life and all that. There IS so much to see and do and be. I may very well be fulfilling my purpose right now.

Job Description: Jack-of-All-Trades

You know?

I really liked "Son in Law" with Pauly Shore. Hell - I really like Pauly Shore - screw you. And in the movie, Pauly would do wild things. Dance a two-step and say, "Couples Dancing - two semesters." Skin a cat and say, "Taxidermy - one semester." Beat the jerk-off ex-boyfriend of his love interest's ass and say, "Judo - three semesters."

You get it.

Maybe that's me. Trains and bikes and thumbs have taken me far. Concerts, oceans, vegans, and carnivores. Part time: painter, writer, blogger, health nut, dirtbag, and learner. Loving life. A little bit country. A little bit rock-n-roll.

Hell yes! So there's that. Glad to blog again.

WHEW, where'd I GO!

2008-03-25T20:29:00.001-07:00

right here!

so much to write about.

but now's not the time, and tomorrow doesn't look good either!

yikes!

check this out though...

myspace.com/holysmokesfather

there's sweet pictures from a fuckin' costume/crossdressing party.

not sure if you have to have myspace to check 'em out...

hope not!

lots of love...

who watches...YOU

2008-03-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

So, there's a comic book. It's not JUST a comic book, however. It's a sordid tale of superheroes who aren't alright...everything's not O.K. in this world. There's no longer truth, justice, OR an American Way in Alan Moore's Watchmen.

Here's what my man, Wikipedia, has to say about the series:

"Watchmen is set in 1985, in an alternative history United States where costumed adventurers are real and the country is edging closer to a nuclear war with the Soviet Union (the Doomsday Clock is at five minutes to midnight). It tells the story of a group of past and present superheroes and the events surrounding the mysterious murder of one of their own. Watchmen depicts superheroes as real people who must confront ethical and personal issues, who struggle with neuroses and failings, and who - with one notable exception - lack anything recognizable as super powers. Watchmen's deconstruction of the conventional superhero archetype, combined with its innovative adaptation of cinematic techniques and heavy use of symbolism, multi-layered dialogue, and metafiction, has influenced both comics and film."

If that's not awesome ENOUGH - can you dig this - they're making a movie out of it...this could be terrible, actually - but I'm sure to see it in theatres...

So, I surfed on over to the IMDB - that's the Internet Movie Data Base, crony! - and checked out their message board. There was one thread called: "The perfect song for the credits of Watchmen..." or something like that. Some of the people not only listed songs...but gave links to videos. As always, I dig up the gems so you don't have to!

(What horseshit...I don't dig up ANYTHING! But, didn't that seem Superhero to say? I mean, REALLY!)

The first video is lame - the SONG isn't though. I'd never heard of the band - Trocadero - before, but really like the song. I've listened to it like nine times now.

The second is of this band Def Con One - it's not too bad either. For some reason it reminds me of Adbusters. That's alright by me.

The third...we can make our own call, can't we? Don't let me tell you everything...it's techno. The artist is called...Luke? Maybe?

Happy watching!

kinda funny

2008-03-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

how my last post was called, "yeah, i update daily."

then i didn't post yesterday. that's kinda funny.

check out myspace.com/holysmokesfather

we're a real band now.

and here's my new tattoo:

hell yeah, i update daily!

2008-03-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

The Tale of Mount Krispy

2008-03-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

As Mount Krispy loomed ominously in the distance, Greystar the Goat, clambered home from school. Mugsy Skullz and Phillie Blue - can you tell which is which? - were up to no good, freestyling by the cacti.

They stopped poor Greystar, and began intimidation tactics. This meant being really cruel.

"Grrr! You're a nothin' and a nobody! Your mama does your laundry! Yo!"

They were determined to make Greystar do their dirty work...
"Climb Mount Krispy, Goat! We're hungry and the best Krispies are at the top!"
Greystar cried, "No! I cannot climb! I cannot climb at all! Mama!"

Phillie Blue pretended not to hear Little Greystar's pleas. "I KNOW what you GOATS are capable of! NOW CLIMB! Or do I have to...THROW YOU!" He had picked up Greystar and was aiming at the dreaded...SEA OF SOUR CREAM DOOM!

Mount Krispy seemed unaware of the danger which would befall Greystar in mere moments.

But, what was this fair reader? A SHACKLEBEAST had come to rain his beastliness down upon Mount Krispy! In one fell swoop of his beastly paw, the beast had toppled the Mount-ain!

"Well, now it is unnecessary to end your life little grey one," said Phillie Blue.
"Grumble, grumble," agreed Mugsy Skullz.
"Can I eat with you?" asked Greystar.
"Why, yes. Eat with us what the Shacklebeast has given," said they.

It was over...for now.

we wrote this: Wade and Billy

punk rock confidenial: follow up. good things.

2008-03-06T12:39:00.000-08:00

NOTE #1: immediately after posting "punk rock confidential" i DID do something proactive, and i think the solution will be seen as a good thing...

so i agonized over that "punk rock confidential" post. i seriously wrote - and rewrote - read it out loud, over, and over...

posted it on the myspace blog. took it down. there's no room for that shit. just naysayin' to nay say. what i'm gonna do now is tell the good things. the hopeful, idealist side of me cannot breathe easy knowing that i've only put "bad words" into the air.

i gotta come clean.

there's more than a little bit that is amazing about this fuckin' scene. always has been.

in real-life, this is where i'd say: don't get me started - whew! thank god it's not REAL life. just blogging.

o.k. so, since you're here (or you're not...i mean, it's a tiny blog in a world full of more interesting shit...maybe i should learn to use flash-html?) i'm gonna talk for a minute. about the good things. past, present, future.

diggin' up bones:

since the dawn of minot's crazy little music scene. before the liberty - back to a garage on 5th street - i wasn't there, so this is hearsay - Nobodies Children played a show. for friends, i'm told. and a few kids were there.

punk rock in minot had begun.

here we are: 15-20 years later? i can't be sure. i told you, it's hearsay. there have been multiple venues since then. cheese factories, golds, sweethearts, cores, mc3s, liberties, that one places, amps, red carpets, mcgruffs, odd house parties, odd locales (public library - msu - fairgrounds) - and the occasional eatery show (bellisi-fuck-offs, and bagel stops) -

punk wasn't ALWAYS present, but it was - if you looked hard enough - generally the catalyst...the punks have been bringing people together around here (even at that wanna-be-fascist joint over by the college...they served coffee?) for a LONG damn time.

now - the question - was it the acts or, the community - that made minot the top notch spot in the dakotas? i mean it - top notch. look around: where's the other venue? how long have we consecutively had venues (barring strangely unsettled periods that lasted under six-months at a time?) YEARS is the answer. grand forks had kafe kosmos...that place was rad. for the whole year it existed. bismarck had the midtowner pretty regular - but that was just a hall they rented. they had the screaming bean - but that was the same story.

minot has maintained an all-ages atmosphere for a decade or more.

whoah!

and the kids came out...and bought merch...a national reputation would follow. we don't have a fuckin' gilman street, a roboto project, and we can barely sing the ABC's - we're not adding NO RIO any time soon...but we're lucky enough to have had lots of REALLY great acts: from bikini kill, to link 80, smackin isaiah - to a wilhelm scream...defiance ohio, josh plogue - shit! - the lords of lightspeed - the ergs! - these things have to do with the dedication of punk rock emissaries, kids who booked 'em - but that doesn't mean shit if kids didn't dance so that great band "X" would tell great band "Y" that they should come here. know what i mean?

so, for the "past" portion, let me say: we've got years of dedication put into this shit. the things the first kid did influenced the second kid and so on - i'm still doing things based on models started over a decade ago - do i do new shit? of course! and kids down the line will do new shit too...

and there will ALWAYS be that kid down the line around here - if any of these past years mean "precedent..."

fast forward. bump ahead. meld. it's now the present...

we've got kids who were a part of those formative years coming back. some of this shit is getting archived now. we're - at a basic level - giving props to minot's punk past - rich, varied, messy - brutal. the weak shit and the awesome shit. it's all a part of the fabric.

we're retaining kids in a way that we've never been able to pull off before. audiences are bigger. stranger concepts are taking hold. different ideas are coming to the table. skill-sets are being developed - and shared...

the retention is the most fascinating part: older kids are coming back, and shows regularly have a good amount of twenty-somethings in attendance. we're young adults; we're taken more seriously. now we can get shit going. i talked two different store owners (both my bosses - and hell - sue really sort of suggested it...) into having acoustic artists play in their shop - FOR MONEY! this is a big deal.

it's all ages. and we're getting paid.

no, money doesn't always matter - but guitar strings cost money. shit - make that guitar pay for itself!

that's just me. just what i can do. other kids do other cool shit. it's easier now to do a lot of things. we know where to snag free copies for your zine - we can help you silkscreen a t-shirt - we know the best bars - and a good chunk of us fuckin ride a bike.

how's that for punk growing up?

whoah! it's big. don't take it for granted: things have NOT always been this way.

so right now we've got great powers, and with them comes - GREAT RESPONSIBILITY...

spiderman!

so, for the future - we need to get those kids out there to come on in...we need more music. we need that pride that comes from an all local show. we need to know one another's names - as this thing grows - we SHOULD be able to grow with it.

i think we can.

MORE NOTES:

#1 - i REALLY don't give a shit which out of town act played here. it IS, however, a source of pride - and should be - i suppose. that's why i listed all those kick ass bands. there were/are more than a few amazing artists here that are just as good. it's about exposure - really. aerosmith started in a garage. right? i dunno...

#2 - which leads me to my next point about what's awesome now - tours! when i was a young pup not that many of the bands around here were touring...now: diabolic octopus, potential caskets, crime rate in iowa, the crooked gospel, jazmine wolff, last great summer, & father, son, & holy smokes! are all slated to be touring...what?!?! that's awesome for minot. we're gonna be gettin' repped and doin' show trades like mad!

#3 - the audiences aren't ACTUALLY bigger than they were before...not in attendee head count...they're pretty even with the norm. the "bigger" i was talking about was VARIETY. so many different people...so many different kinds (ever heard that No Doubt song? ha!) now we have acoustic performers, poets (what up lou!), crazies, deadheads...

it's nice.

no joke. this one's for you.

2008-03-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVFMZ3TajNA

you want some MiB action?

follow that link. you can watch the whole damn movie on youtube! i was just gonna post it but the embed code was turned off...

so, yeah. watch it!

the dude who posted it (or dudette, perhaps?) also has up:

KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

and JURASSIC PARK

tizz-ight!

a memorandum was sent my way

2008-03-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

just click it, print it, & color it -

safety has never been so much fun.

now winter had it coming: the interview

2008-03-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

fuck!

hahahahah

here's the dirt...

It’s Spring Break here in Minot. It also snowed yesterday. Whatever. I’ve wanted to do what I’d call a “meta-blog” for awhile. A blog about blogging. The “why’s” and what-not. So, instead of doing this in any sort of laborious manner: racking my brain, twisting my arm, thinking too hard – I just asked for some help. Anthony and John, John and Anthony. Good guys. And they both have their own blogs…

Exhibit A: John, http://www.j5mc.org/

Exhibit B: Anthony, http://janthonyjastrzembski.blogspot.com/

I had them interview me. Pretty smart, huh?

So, without more shitty banter. The kind that would have me saying I’m drinking too much for free at Eb’s while I write…here’s the interview…

We start with Anthony’s questions (he’s as verbose as I am!)The questions are him, and the answers are me. You figure it out:

1. Many bloggers write really intimate and sometimes embarrassing
things for the world to see. Do you do this? Do you also keep in mind who is going to read it, in regards to some details you may or may not leave out (I know I do, I have family members, a teacher, and my boss on my list. Having said that, I don’t edit myself much).

I’m pretty new to this whole thing. I’ve been doing it about a month. Embarrassing things don’t even happen to me, anyway – so – no, not really. Intimacy is also pretty infrequent in my world, as I’m sure you’ll agree don juan de-strzembski. I’m just fuckin’ with ya. Don’t worry – I kid! I guess, embarrassing: only my writing. I do from time to time worry about being misconstrued – but no one really reads this damn thing anyway, so I’m not too worried. That might change in the future (I’m planning to use this site as a hub for some distro-work I’ll begin soon…)

2. What approach do you take to blogging? Do you write a mishmash of
thoughts that just strike you, pictures, etc? Do you write planned out
essays, almost as if you were writing a book of essays? Do you talk about politics, or things of that sort?

My approach is pretty chaotic. That latest post “punk rock confidential” would be the first time I’ve publicly spoke about anything worth a damn almost ever. I mean, outside of song lyrics. I generally act more dignified, but it’s a digital world, and I’m sick of self-imposed silence. So – I guess from time to time I’ll talk about my world in a more critical way than I would have before…publicly, that is.

3. Why do you blog. Is it to keep in touch with people you can’t see
all the time? Is it sort of a masturbatory thing where you want your
friends to know how great you are? Are you trying to be an Internet
celebrity? Creative outlet?

I don’t really know. I guess I just saw the shit around. The “Blogger” insignia on shit. You and MC started one. I had to keep up with your Jonesy asses. Ultimately, however – I just wanted to post my zine, from the first zinefest here in Minot, online. I did that and decided I’d try this out. It’s been cathartic and from time to time people have even read what I’m puttin’ down. That’s a new and neat feeling. I’m writing, revising, editing, and – of course – posting, more than ever before. It’s nice to write. You know?

4. How much time to you spend on the average entry.

Maybe an hour on longer ones, usually only 15 minutes or so. I’ve been trying to do it once a day. At night, calm me down. Reflect. I try to do things that I would like to read in the future. I don’t journal as much as I should. This is a good substitute.

5. Are you afraid of silly stuff like someone who would not like what
you write is reading it (e.g. boss, police, family)?

Yeah. A little. Well, once I guess. I put up posts sometimes about not liking my bookstore job too much. This wouldn’t be a big deal, she’s not subscribed to my blog or anything, but I made fliers promoting my blog (I’m such a dork.) And I don’t want her to get the flier, load the page, and read that. You know? I mean, what a lame way to be fired. I doubt it will happen – and Val, if you’re reading this: it’s only because I feel lost all the damn time, due to lack of hours, and an inability to keep up with shelving-changes. That’s it. I think you’re a great lady.

6. Do you give a frame of reference, for instance, elaborate on a
person or place that all readers might not be familiar with?

I guess right now I’m hoping the people reading it already know me. I clarify some things, like if I mention Jim – I say, “Jim Cherry, Severed Head Records.” That types of shit. Mostly I don’t elaborate. Should I?

7. What prompted your start into blogging?

I think I answered that already. No other outlet like it? I wish there were better zines around here. Maybe they’ll start happening and I’ll head back to the print/photocopy medium. I dunno though – the internet is powerful.

8. Do you think it has an effect on your networking?

Maybe. It’s too soon to say.

9. Do you think it is another fucking waste of time?

Dear Sisyphus,

Yes.

10. Does writing your own blog make you want to read the blogs your
friends, or people you don’t even know, more?

Actually, yeah. I have more of an understanding than before and now I’m wishing I would’ve kept up with Jake’s more often. This is a neat thing and I missed the bus. I’m trying to make up for lost time right now…

11. Why are you such a raging douchebag? (kidding)
I’ll answer this after you do.

peas,
Anthony

peas? seriously, answer number 11.

Now, we’ll answer the questions of none other than rocket scientist McClure. Damn he’s smart. And so – tall! So…dreamy…

Thank you, Mr. Luetzen, for agreeing to this interview. I know your time is limited. First off, I should ask, what has inspired you to write "ennui go" ?

-- Hoping to add another, hopefully, unique voice to the choir of internet angels.

Where do you see yourself going with this blog?

-- Wherever wireless will take me – ha! Seriously? I’m just taking as it goes – a new hobby – I’m full of new hobbies, all the damn time. Like how you’ve got plans for a full light-rail system dedicated to hauling us to and from Bismarck. Damn, I love you.

Has it been a challenge to develop material? Where do you draw it from?

-- I’ve just been posting shit I like and talking about my days really. I lead a pretty interesting life, actually. Nothing too boring around here. Punk is exciting and I’ll proudly claim it – on my tax returns? I wish. I’ve been thinking more about saying things that matter, and starting to post funny shit I’ve created (I’m getting a camera! Thanks, Chris Brown.) I get inspired by everything, including John’s and Anthony’s.

Thank you, Mr. Luetzen. One more thing I might ask -- Do you see yourself as a cultural representative of a particular place, or more of a particular viewpoint?

-- That’s an amazingly deep question. Wow. Okay, well – I’m not 110% sure that they’re not entwined. For a long time, I’ve wondered if what I do is place-specific. I’ve never been sure. Could I recreate things I’ve done here, say, in the Central Valley of California? I don’t know. I’d try though. Wherever I am, I’d try. That’s just how I work. So, in that respect – I’m an ambassador of a particular viewpoint. The do-it-yourselves ethic. Yeah, do it together. But outside of bureaucratic bullshit-lines. Start something – ANYTHING – make it right when you see it wrong. Dig?

Like how Dr. Samuel Beckett (Quantum Leap, people!) finds himself trapped in the futures and pasts of different fucked up people in fucked up situations – and, once – as a chimp! And he’s supposed to “put right what once went wrong.”

So, there’s that. But I don’t think I would try as hard, have as much hope, or believe in potentials as much as I do if I didn’t grow up in the hard winters we got here. If you know what I mean? Well, shit of course you do.

So, there you have it! I can’t thank these two gents enough…I don’t wanna fellate them all night long, however, so I’ll just say, “You’re good people. And I know good people. I’m proud to know you. I’m also drinking Black Velvet and Coke. Spring break! Spring BREEEEAAAAAAK! Oh yeah! Holy Shit!”

somthin' fun for the kiddies

2008-03-04T09:29:00.001-08:00

at work before noon...the day after...

2008-03-02T09:56:00.001-08:00

well, what can someone say about last night?

highlights:

*three bands played for a whole lotta people.

*there were two instances of crunge-like jam outs.

*charlie ended up dancing nearly naked during the diabolic octopus set.

father, son, & holy smokes! played a great set. we weren't so sure it was going to go well, but ended up really happy with it. i'm counting that as our first real show. trent sang along to skulls pretty well. i also attempted to stay sober at least until we were done with our set. it worked out pretty well. i fuckin' love playing basements. got beer spilt on me. kids danced a lot.

potential caskets were tight as usual. i noticed trent pulled off the, "this is our last song..." trick. to make this trick work for you, here's what you do. you say, "this is our last song!" of course - then - and this is the trick of it...you play four songs. since you don't really pause for more than 30 seconds between them, and don't introduce them as new songs - YOU REALLY ONLY PLAY ONE SONG!

i'm actually a proponent of that method. the caskets did this at a mainstreet books show the other night. because my boss wanted to close and i told trent, "hey, man, make this your 'last song...'"

they're really f'n good. the new songs are awesome and best banter line of the night goes to, "we have a new 7" coming out in april on a label out of florida, it sounds like this..."

then they started to play.

jim cherry, of severed head records, put out the potential caskets full length a little while ago and was really pimping them last night. it was really funny to see his proud papa smile while they played and kids sang along.

stop the presses.

to talk a minute about diabolic octopus.

sure, the name is dorky. what name isn't? 'the beatles?'

maybe, just maybe, 'bag fulla dicks' isn't a dork name. MAYBE.

ok, get past the name. they're so tight. and when they're not THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO. i was all mashed up last night trying to tell their drummer jimmy about what i saw when they were off on a part. i'm thinking i came off as a) stupid or b) an ass. i was TRYING to say i loved watching the fumble and recovery. they're tight. holy shit!

and their new songs are amazing too. and everyone dances and they're just damn fun. it's so awesome to watch that many people dance.

their legend will grow. that's for damn sure. they've got a new shirt coming out that i'm excited to see. they had a whole bunch of people make drawings and then they plastered 'em all together. all these drawings of octopi and walrus-eye and shit. it's probably amazing. i drew "cthulu." in case you were wondering that's the ultimate evil: cthulu.

i think they're playing tonight, actually. so - HEY! - if anyone is actually reading this - you can catch them tonight. speaking of which, the cthulu might actually be there too - so - it's probably in your soul's best interest.

i hope the p.a. is alright. (that's a side note)

i went to bed at about 5 in the mornin'. that's when the party started to dwindle.

jaz played a show in fargo yesterday. she called when she was leaving (the night had only barely gotten started)...and made it back in time to party. fargo is about four hours away. that's a good time.

when i woke up at around 8:30, yeah - i was a bit hung over. but i got to it. the world won't wait sometimes. i had to work (i'm there right now) at 11:30, and wanted to start making food for the potluck tonight. that's gonna be awesome fun!

anyhow, when i woke up i found alex tucked in fetal position in the bathroom on the floor. the lights were on and the door was closed. charlie, wade, and matty b. were passed out in the living room. lights were on everywhere and trace elements of the party showcased themselves proudly, as if to say: come again, soon!

downsides? i don't know that there were any. no police. no drama. just good times.

i wish atom's rite, the crooked gospel, and semistranded had played. that sounds like a good lineup though, doesn't it?

hmm...the gears are grinding already...

for tonight i'm making spaghetti and tofu balls and collard green burritos.

what a great night!

p.s. sara and shawn are working on new issues of their zine!

shawn's is called, 'gratuitous violets.'

isn't that awesome?

signing off,
billy batson

calling the peoples

2008-03-01T19:33:00.000-08:00

i'm calling all cars.

calling all hearts.

calling all arrows.

hope we can bring 'em together. the hearts and arrows, that is.

love happens that way.

and - oh! - AND - i'm calling all friends.

we're having a concert tonight, and it'd be nice to have them here, when everyone comes together it makes life worth it.

makes it all worth it.

so, to the penny arcades and boardwalks 'neath sunsets - this one's for you. because our swill-beer tastes like cotton candy. and our too-loud music is like shuffleboard. and our times are just as good as your rides.

and there are never lines about height. and everyone can get on.

a stretch and a yawn

2008-02-29T06:21:00.000-08:00

i'm up for the day. time to make some paintings happen!

the coup happens every year. this year i'm gonna happen with it.

well, the hope is that if i turn in five paintings maybe ONE of them will make it. i'll be happy if it does, and - maybe - not real hurt if it doesn't. i haven't put a lot of thought into it, so i don't think i'll care. i mean, they give BACK your paintings. so, there's that.

so if i get my paintings back, and i've been meaning to paint anyhow and blah blah blah...what's the bad thing about doing this?

judgment. man, do i loathe that concept.

why do i do it? oh! oh! me! me! me! i do it because, like most people, i operate my machine on high-octane praise.

press the lever. turn the key.

you know who's best?

is it me?

my principal principle

2008-02-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

would be?

hmm...tired a bit tonight. at least not as sick feeling as last night. whoah...

ever wonder about the moon?

me neither.

max daddy crow

2008-02-28T03:10:00.001-08:00

"there are crows outside my window. i think i'm going to die soon."
- kayla jean

i had a crazy dream where i woke up to a headline. in the dream one person did double-duty. you'll have to tell me if this has happened to you...it's like their role switched back and forth. one face turning into the other mid-action, or - i'm just left with a weird feeling that they're one and the same - at least for the moment.

the two people: trent and johnny depp.

it was a lot like the johnny depp from 'finding neverland.'

and trent was there because he brought drinks.

he and i showed up to my cousin's door. jenny, that's her. and trent seemed to do this all the time, brought his bike in and put it where it needed to be and i fumbled around in back like i do when i'm being brought somewhere for the first time by someone who's at home in the area. i lag at the door. take longer getting my shoes off. stand awkwardly at the threshold, does this happen to you, too?

and so - yeah, it's my cousin's house - and yeah: trent's been there before.

so he walks in and jenny's saying hello and she's friendly with him, and i'm just observing. and he offers her a mike's hard lemonade - she accepts - and there's bathwater running. the living room is down a set of stairs and the upper portion of the home - where the entry and landing are, at least, is airier. almost seems like an apartment building. there's a door to the left as you'd head down the stairs and it's in there that the bath is bubbled up.

it's for the kids. and god - there are a lot of them.

she lives in this split-level apartment complex thing but it must be a shoe. she's got so many kids!

and they're all excited to see uncle trent and when i'm bringing my bike in and i don't know where to set it jenny suggests blocking up that doorway where the bath is running. and, for some reason, this will postpone bedtime.

the kids are ecstatic. this is where trent meets johnny. they're all so happy to see him, yet know - as kids must - that his arrival means bedtime will follow an hour behind.

then there's the spinning newspaper. like in old television: it comes spinning into focus, with a headline:

CHILDREN FIGHT ILLNESS DUE TO PREOCCUPATIONS

or SOMEthing...i'm not sure what it said. it was GOOD though. it woke me up happy. i thought about how sometimes we made ourselves sick or well depending on whether or not we wanted to have fun...

that's a good dream. it's 5:30 a.m. i don't care what the posting says.

i'll fill you in on yesterday, later.

a brief morning story

2008-02-27T05:10:00.000-08:00

It was about a year ago that my friends and I headed from Minot, ND to the cities. It was winter then and you know how the snow gets. Piles of it. That's most of what I remember, down on Lake street jumping in and out of snow. To and from the car. So our vinyl junkie kicked in and we ended up at Treehouse Records.

It's a great place, if you haven't been.

Well, we're just kids. From a small town. We were looking at Elvis pressings when we heard an argument from the front of the store. A clerk and two older men, embroiled in debate. The subject:

Green Day

The clerk seemed only to be playing moderator in a lax fashion. Interjecting, "Whoahs!" and "Ooo.K.s!" when appropriate. The man in front of the counter on the left towered over his arguing counterpart while the clerk looked on. The man on the right was of slight build with a scraggled home-bum look. There were years behind those features, which was what initially drew us into the conversation - although - it IS a small place and they WERE very loud.

The man on the left: "They were in WINNIPEG. I was up there recording - they put one of MY songs on their first album and couldn't say, 'Hi?'"

"Doesn't mean they're SELLOUTS!"

"Whoah!"

Then, that age old chicken-and-egg question regarding sellout or not reared its ugly twin heads and it all got a bit crazy. We didn't realize they were talking about Green Day until a little bit after that first part, so you can imagine our situation. Crazy! Minneapolis: where the older cats are also the wiser cats.

You could imagine the rest: we watched. It ended. We went our way with some choice Bob Wills 45's...only...that...DIDN'T happen...

Instead, the tiny scraggle-faced home bum got exasperated.

"I'm GOING! I've got to catch my BUS!"

The taller man:

"You get that bus. It'll take you farther than GREEN DAY will!"

We roared in the back. The taller man said his goodbyes to the unexcited clerk. I went to the counter...confused about what had happened, here, in the CITY.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh, well - it happens all the time."

"Who WAS that? Some crazies, right? I mean - he said Green Day played one of his songs..."

"Oh," he laughed a bit now, "that was Grant Hart from..."

"Husker Du!" we cried!

Of course - Minneapolis!

Well...we'd only been a minute at the counter. I left my finds at the counter and three of us ran out into the snow. There he was...

Grant Hart!

We talked for a minute with the legend. Told him I book concerts from time to time in Minot. "That's on the Empire Builder!" Why, yes, Mr. Hart. It is.

He said we should make this happen and gave us each a copy of Good News for Modern Man...

la vida sin conocimiento es muerte en disfraz

2008-02-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

life without knowledge is death in disguise.
- blackstar

check the gauges:

the upswing in energy could be a number of things. could be the beautiful weather we've been having. a mild kind of cold, barely see your breath - no wind. the lights hit the ice and this place reminds me of a real city. like minneapolis. i like minot at night on these kinds of nights.

i'd like to be in minneapolis, sometimes, too.

it could also be a head-trip. i'm excitable when i've got a day off. this means i haven't been excitable since we went on tour in december. i haven't had one day away from work or school. day without work? school. day without school? work. and hell, we'll have some days with both. fuck it. you need a character-building experience.

well, not tomorrow. ricardo's going to columbia. it's his parent's fiftieth anniversary. he's worried that immigration won't let him back in. theoretically, this means i may never see him again. he's a very good person. i hope that's not the case. and - who - just who - the hell would teach us spanish then?

so, he's gone. no spanish. no school. no work. nothing. i'm going to do back homework, paint, and start planning a tour...maybe with the crooked gospel?

fuckin' a!

but the upswing could also be the diet. who knows? it's not a diet in the sense that i'm trying to lose weight, look good, or be a part of madison avenue's idea of good lookin' - it's diet like what i'm eating. just didn't want to lose you in there. well, it could be the diet. made an awesome collard green burrito thing. just slices of avocado and tomato and some olives...

it was amazing.

jaz called it a "pocket salad." i thought that was real good.

so i walked down to off the vine. no wine for me. just water. i think the waiter used to teach me math. who fuckin' knows? well, gave sara her poster...it says:

"When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money."

- Cree prophecy. hope she likes it.

sara ended up getting sick. the wine? we'd drank the kikkoman plum before. i'm not sure. and it's her birthday and she was getting sick behind the building when we came out after settling up. i left a tip. darryl had already bought sara's drink.

saw lisa, ron, and the poet jeff skarski. skarski rides a bike. he was stumbling drunk when i found that out. i asked him if he was driving - real serious like. he said - no - i got a bike. and well, then - it was high-fives! i love drunk bike riding. shawn doesn't. but that's just his teeth talking.

walked up to nola's. mitch was worried 'bout missing last thursday's meeting. called himself a flake. he'll make it, i'm sure. people seem interested at least on the surface. who doesn't like helping people? please, no dumb answers to that. it's mackey's birthday tomorrow. so, shit - i had to buy him a drink too. shit i love that guy.

laura veirs is damn good. that's all i'm saying about that. next post will probably be a linkette to a damn fine song.

so, all in all, i've done the challenge for two days. i'm feeling good about it. i saw and well-wished lots of friends, i've got no complaints as i head to bed tonight.

UPDATE:

Anonymous,

To tell which water is raw and which is not they tend to use litmus strips. Under moonlight. During Summer Solstice. On a hill. While the band plays.

a second comment to mr. peanut

2008-02-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

UP TO THE MINUTE REPORT:

the peanuts i've been eating are, in fact, uncooked. says so on the package. they're in the shell. there's still bits of vine hangin' off the ends.

for the cynical - of which i'm proudly a part - the package says "raw" a total of three times. one of those being in the ingredients list: peanuts, in shell, raw.

it really does say "uncooked" on the top of the bag. it also has a warning that the bag may - just possibly - contain tree nuts.

a quick look into the interweb brings up an interesting bit of information...john b. sanfilippo and sons seem to either distribute/own sunshine country (the brand i've got) and fisher brand nuts along with some other nuts. they've got every kind of nut available. holy. every kind, that is, except one...

the sunshine country brand raw jumbo virginia peanuts in shell that i have don't seem to make an appearance on their exhaustive list of legumes. what the f, right? anyway, here's the website. and thanks for keepin' me honest.

http://jbssinc.com/

meaty dreams

2008-02-26T07:02:00.001-08:00

what a weird night.

a healthy shit and hope: they both float

2008-02-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

click title. i dare you.

my first day as a raw-foodist: the lunchroom report

ted likes carrots. so do i.

i have eaten, so far:

1 apple - 110 calories
1 orange - 80
4 bananas - 105 X 4 = 420 (duuuuuuude.)
1 pear - 98
1/2 of an avocado - 150
1/2 of an ugli fruit - 20
1 peach - 73
1/2 of a carrot - 52 in a cup? shoot. i dunno.

it is 2pm. i work in one-hour.

i've been awake since 8am.

there is an H^3 meeting tonight at 7:30.

my total caloric intake is: 1003. much higher than i'd thought it would be. cool!

i also have a miller highlife pounder that bob blake left behind. that will have to wait until this week is over too, dammit.

LATER IN THE NIGHT.

i didn't keep track of much of the rest. lots of peanuts in the shell. unsalted. getting hungry.

charlie didn't have much trouble, i guess. but he's a wrestler. he just got done eating an apple and an orange every day for four months. how hard could this be?

so, i probably made 2,000 calories. my bowels have started making artistic statements. i'm just a grunt away from a picasso at about any given minute.

work was whatever. got lost lookin' for books. same old, same old.

the meeting went really well tonight. jacob made an awesome poster (it will be posted up here soon...) alex and i both started working on infoshop fliers (a "coming soon" flier) detailing what we have planned. workshops. coffee. wireless. bike repairs. lending library. it's gonna be called, "McGruff INK." we worked and brainstormed for nearly three hours!

Cool, eh?

justin's coming to visit soon. totally leet roxxor!

(that last bit was for mcclure)

anyway, bedtime. tomorrow's another day - AND - sara's birthday!

luv,
billy motha fuggin batson - shazam!

ashes to ashes, crumbs to crumbs...

2008-02-24T19:52:00.000-08:00

charlie and i stood by the tracks while ted ran round the fence that keeps a rot and two pups from the road. we each finished the pieces we'd already grabbed out of the bag. he handed the bag to me. i saw there were two left. i handed one to charlie. i kept one. i emptied the remains - the crumbs - into my left hand. i spread the crumbs to the wind and as they scattered earthbound we each raised our piece. a small salute. a bit of a send off. pizzeria combos.

tomorrow begins the raw foods challenge. one week. only fruits and vegetables and water. can we do it? i believe: yes.

what else happened today? went to mi mexico with trent. that was alright. top-notch foods. he bought a ratatouille video game. for himself.

worked. that was the same. i'm tired a lot. cancelled a basement show. that sucks. started planning a tour. that's cool. found out i'm not going to mexico this summer. that sucks, and i've still never seen boston.

if i were asked, right now - because that's totally possible - what two things would describe my day they would be...

a) walking ted
b) making plans

those were the things i did today. thank you very much.

click the title to learn about raw foods. good luck, challengers.

a good friend's good poem.

2008-02-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

you can catch jeff down at the bookstore's open-mic. i think a lot of this piece...

"Vacation"
by Jeff Skarski

I stepped into his shop that day,
escaping Summer's heat.
Heading down the merchant's way,
to find a bit to eat.

"Hello!" said he, with twinkling eye,
's I stepped into his hall,
I looked, but found no thing to buy,
just beds along a wall.

He said, "I sell vacations, here!
The best there's ever been!
A miracle they engineered
way back in twenty-ten."

He said for just a modest fee,
I'd lie on magic bed,
Wherever I wished, there I'd be,
though only in my head.

My trip, he said, would last a week,
though I'd only lie an hour,
in this bed time was mild and meek,
devoid its frightful power.

I wondered if I had the time,
and pondered where I'd go
I asked if where my thoughts took me
was mine, or if he'd know.

I took the long way home that time,
my parcels under arm,
ice cream from the five and dime,
fresh supper from the farm.

At home I hugged my two young kids,
and kissed and held my wife.
a boy and girl, aged eight and six,
so wild and full of life.

We ate and spoke for quite a while,
of work and school and house.
at gym my kids had run a mile,
my wife had seen a mouse.

I listened smiling t'all they said,
I nodded when I ought.
I spoke only of the weather and
the things which I had bought.

I asked my wife where she would go,
a week spent anywhere.
She couldn't say, she didn't know,
as long's the weather's fair.

I asked of skiing in the north,
or camping in the wood,
would she swim in sandy, sunny ports,
If I told her that we could?

She said she had no answer,
that she wanted only sleep.
Happy just to have her,
I kissed her on the cheek.

Next day I sat behind my desk,
The day was dull but calm.
Each day boring as the rest,
but soothing like a balm.

Morning's light wakes up my brain,
I must be at work soon,
Newspapers while I ride the train,
lunch in cafe's at noon.

Work and eat and sleep I must
with evenings all for rest.
Five days each week for wages bust,
I think as I get dressed.

And then at last comes Saturday,
I take them to the park.
for hours on soft grass we play,
feed squirrels for a lark.

Sunday's peace is wistful,
a lovely Summer's break,
I hold them all the closer
for I know I soon will wake.

I open my eyes blindly,
From tears I freshly cry.
He holds my shoulder kindly,
says "None leave here dry of eye."

"Each one's vacation's different,
and yet they're all the same.
I hope whatever you saw then
will help you to be sane.

A vacation's a different thing
than it was long ago,
They've always numbed the world's sting,
Oh, little did we know."

I say no word, 'cept mumbled thanks,
and pay the man his due.
I open wide his window planks
so that I might look through.

I see the rubble scattered where
the five-and-dime once stood.
I see the buildings shattered. Where
I worked is but charred wood.

What once was my vocation,
Twas my family, this I know.
Now just dust and radiation,
Oh, dear God, I miss them so.

anything else?

2008-02-24T01:26:00.000-08:00

branching out. sweet lemons. and humanity.

2008-02-23T22:20:00.000-08:00

A musical treat. Play while reading. Michael Franti & Spearhead.
download audio file

I dedicate this post to Ron and Sharon. And the Auto-Doctor. And Micah. And beautiful humans.

The reason that the flier for tonight's event had so many pictures of people on it is explained below.

Today was a swell one at work. Seems like this past week - and this happens about once a month - was a real busy one. Looking back on these posts I see an open mic, I see that Humans Helping Humans had a great meeting (one that I matter-of-factly told Chris Brown about - umm - at least ten times...), and tonight there was an amazing performance down at the good ol' bookstore. Robert Sarazin Blake was the guest performer of the evening, but the breakaway stars were harder to pick out than that. You couldn't just say that he was the big deal. Only one of many. Unsung heroes are everywhere. There was Jody McLaughlin - of the longest running zine around Minot, The Compleat Mother - she helped me find a nail that was jutting out of the hardwood. Recommended a hammer, which I couldn't find. There was Rhonda from Chicago, who couldn't help but remind me to get an email list started, because - as she said, "I'm not from here - but my FAMILY is - and they need to be coming DOWN!" Her enthusiasm was more than beautiful. And about that - B. Smooth - he wrote a poem about being beautiful - "from her head to her cuticles!" All went well with Jazmine, and Lou (great poem about freedoms, a trapped bird, and his daughter's precocious words...) - Brent Braniff (I'm attempting to get permission to post a song for download off of his latest release) was in top form playing with ex-Mapatazy member Ryan Alexander (how did THAT come about? If you know, do tell.) Then remember that moment when Pat Lipps was such a good sport (he was in the bathroom, and I had the crowd applaud his efforts - while he was in the middle of them!) I guess what I'm getting at is it's everybody else - always has been and always will be - that makes these things happen. Ricardo Mendoza and Amina the French teacher were there! Ricardo said, "Como Estas?" and asked me if I needed any help. He carried in a guitar. Micah helped carry chairs from the basement - and back down. Lou did that too. Little things? Not so sure...well, I loved every minute anyhow. The next H^3 (Humans Helping Humans...) meeting is Monday @ 7:30pm. Email me for details.

Joshua Plogue (the vegan-chef - has a zine out that talks about various shows he played in with Behead the Prophet etc. and one of the shows he talked about being a part of was a celebration of EVERYONE - like all the kids who come out would get their five minutes - to talk about THEM! It sounds beautiful. What say you?) Why was all of that parenthetical?

And hey! Buy the new Potential Caskets and Brent Braniff CD's if you know what's really rubberneckin good.

Gotta sleep now. Here's a Robert Blake video treat!

UPDATE: After discussing it with Charlie I've decided that it's O.K. to mention that another really touching moment from the night was when he played a cover of a Fist Full of Knuckles song, "White Knuckles." I hadn't wanted to mention it - for vanity's sake - but, as Charles reminded me - having a blog is pretty damn vain in and of itself. So, thanks Charlie - you played it better than I ever have.

what's up...

2008-02-21T23:20:00.001-08:00

download audio file

veo sonrisas en todo

2008-02-21T06:39:00.001-08:00

Tonight's meeting of Humans Helping Humans went very well. We created our costumes for recycling action day. I need to get a top-hat. I'm all carnival-barker. Half shark, alligator, half man - and all carnival-barker.

Recycling action day is going to be pretty ridiculous. Look for us. We'll be dressed to impress and puttin' knowledge to the test.

We also started thinking of other ideas. I think we'll play board games at the nursing home. I'll bring my guitar. These are nice things to do.

The infoshop we're planning in the McGruff basement is looking up as well. Stay tuned! We've got a lot of work to do, but that's A.O.K.

It's a good group. A solid core. Contact me if you want to help humans!

I leave you with this:

"Footprint of the American Chicken T-Shirts

Often found in dense urban areas, the American Chicken can be identified by its distinctive mark and complete lack of understanding. However, when confronted with heavy caliber truth and large volleys of common sense, they will often retreat back to their hippie communes while ranting incoherently. This t-shirt will help you identify these radical individuals so they can be avoided when possible and confronted when necessary.

100% cotton, mens sizes small to 3XL"

I can't make this up.

From the website: Life, Liberty, Etc.

by jacob braaten: bears like flowers

2008-02-21T03:05:00.000-08:00

goals: one post a day for 21 days. that's how long 'they' say it takes to form a habit.

stay tuned for: more goals.

go to this website: http://youtube.com/user/Netaarb

if you: like the following video.

tonight's open-mic. and passports.

2008-02-20T19:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight was eventful, a really great open-mic. The best part was that we had fun. These open-mics all over the place are like really great taco stands. Shit, hungry? Why wait - grab a handfulla-fajita, the kind that comes with friends and green-sauce.

Oh yeah.

Second best was that I got - ONE - count it! ONE! Comment on this here blog, asking if the drawings down there were mine. The answer? Absolutely not! They come from Fables, a comic book of immense appeal. I suggest buying it and scanning it and making your own term-paper comics.

They're a hit.

Also! Otis & James will begin shooting for passports next week! Main Street - and Mexico! - here I come.

Thanks Matt Beer-E.

Luv,
Billy Batson - Shazam!

blue scholars. seattle. shout out.

2008-02-20T14:16:00.001-08:00

Theodore Goes to School

2008-02-20T11:05:00.001-08:00

Ted asked us to help him fill out his enrollment papers.
Which we gladly did.

He was soon accepted and welcomed graciously with open arms!
That's Ted with Professor Bartowski.

The faculty seemed so proud to have him as their student.

A little apprehensive at first, Ted would end up loving school before long.

He worked hard from day one. He had to.
Don't you hate homework on the first day?
But it wasn't all work - he made some friends, too!

There was, mickey - quarterback for the local football team,

Big Baby Jesus who was really just misunderstood,

and Shackleton, the class clown.
They were all so different...

But, somehow, he brought them all together.

They couldn't have fun for long, however.
It was time to hit the books!

See you next time!

first issue: "of moths in holy clothing"

2008-02-20T05:57:00.001-08:00

click on the picture for readable view. i hate that this is a link. dammit!